you teach max 40 years of history? thats bad teaching

At least Cuban works out

No amount of CGI could’ve given Trump the stamina to throw one fake grenade.

God, the history textbooks 60 years from now are going to be so weird.

I saw the word contract and for a second I actually thought he might have a case. LOL will I never learn? Then saw he never signed one, effectively backed away, and threw a baseless psychotic fit when it turned out someone else would get attention.

I would still pay.

I would have paid to see a shark eat Donald Trump.

They made a right choice

Ugh, I’ve tried so many products and I just can’t get my pubes to hold a curl! #straightpubeproblems

What in the actual fuck is that nonsense?? I got that this article was satire but I was not expecting it to be so closely reflective of any possible source materials. I made the mistake of clicking on some of the products in the refinery article and Jesus fucking Christ that’s some overpriced nonsense.

This is hilarious but also, somehow, upsetting.

It took me far too long to realize this is a satire piece. I was like wow, I guess this is some first world problems kind of stuff

Wait. Is this a lark? Or is vaginal care really this intricate? I feel like this is a lark. Or maybe an infomercial. I haven’t decided yet.

Awwww, here I was, hoping to see a review of John Oliver’s taint wipes. Bummer.

I constantly have to shut down requests to open an artisinal bakery down there.

He spoke about it like it was already enacted too. When Congress gets it they’ll be all:

I try to consider myself better than that normally, but I make a special exception for guys like Self-loathing Nosferatu up there.

Where’s someone who wants to impress Jodie Foster when you need them?