This post lost all credibility the moment you called a cheesburger a “sandwich.”

Whooooooooooooooooo cares?

Cue the dancing African toddler in 3...2...1...

Ho! Got his ass.

I’ve made my career in the television production industry, and our designated jargon for urinating is having to “10-1". I strongly believe this to be the end-all best choice of words in this endeavor. Turns an off-putting and unpleasant bodily function into a damn military call-sign.

Douche Bro who kept the ball looks like Miles Teller, which only further exponentiates the douchiness.

JR Smith’s nickname is JR Swish, and they have been calling him Swish for short all post-season. That might have been what he said, trying to pass the buck on a response. Just worth tossing out there.

He hustles harder than Pablo Sandoval, I'll tell you that much. Get the man a jersey.

Sadly, that is in fact exactly how I remember the Teletubbies. Say no to drugs, kids.

In the effort of fairness, this is most likely his rider for a full-scale concert, that his people just repurposed here. That said, the Georgia athletics department is dumb AF if they got it all for him anyway. Obviously dumber for paying him $5K per minute.

I hate to say this... but I think I’m a Bryce Harper fan now. This is strangely awesome to me.

This man really just confused sale and sell. This is why we can’t have nice things.

He put the team on his back do.

Ho, got em.

That crab-man-thing looks like what I imagine Chlamydia would look like in human form.

Should have brought in Steve Harvey to announce Monmouth’s bid.

Whipping Boy? That’s fine, as long as he uses a safe word.

And here I thought the laziest baby in Sacramento was Demarcus Cousins.

Thank you. Thought I was the only one.

Iwork in production. They legallly had to do both. Subway is, for all intents and purposes, the cheapest thing you can feed cast and crew. Anything less than the $100 or Subway and the extras would have been justifiable in walking off, as well as filing complaints.