The night after USA-Belgium, I had a dream I beat the shit out of Johnny Manziel.

What length would you go to secure a sex tape featuring any of the following people: Mario Balotelli, JR Smith, Javale McGee, Yasiel Puig, Bill Simmons, Darren Rovell, anyone from DHOF? What if the sex tape had Balotelli, JR, and Puig in it?

He hurts everyone in Bundesliga except them, thus guaranteeing their success in Bundesliga.

Bayern Munich are so gonna scoop his ass up.

You wrote a 437-word comment on a blog, go outside and examine your life.

Soccer players run an average of 5-7 miles in a game. Imagine doing that in 90-degree heat. Do you think they're pussies now?

Not every game was played in Manaus/Recife/Salvador. Not even a majority of games were played in sweltering conditions.

Still pretty hot at night. If they play in June, expect night temps to range from 85-93.

Sweden were still up by two goals after he scored, so why the hell was he gloating?

Also, are the best French, Portuguese, and Russian teams better than the 2nd/3rd English, German, Italian, and Spanish teams? Probably no.

What happens if the champions league winner wins their league? Also is the Russian league actually better than the Dutch league?

"Yep this is my life"

HA! You vastly overestimate the intelligence of the average American.

Exactly. Like what's the chance the ref recognizes that as a religious act?

2nd place > 7th place.

Five Champions League Titles > Three Champions League Titles.

Formula -1

You do realize the Premier League is the biggest sports league in the world? Its clubs are supported by millions of people who've never been to England.

Five Champions League trophies, three UEFA cups, 18 League titles, seven FA Cups, eight League Cups.