After the Paris Attacks, running onto the field in an NFL game is very stupid.

When I lived in NYC, around early 2004, I was taking the L train back from Lorimer to the East Village. On the same train car, no exaggeration: Homeless man walks into center of the L train, drops his pants and takes a shit on the subway car floor. No one even batted an eyelash.

The musings of John Donne clearly have a huge influence over the Kardashian family. Their guiding light, if you will.

In lieu of family support, I have boxes of wine.

They are wealthy enough to have great expectations for their kids, but poor enough to not have all the tools to get them meet those expectations (ie right preschool, right private school, right college, right connections for jobs).

We’re still going to teach them Cantonese though, right? RIGHT???

“It really shouldn’t take photos or anything to understand the severity of domestic violence,” Rice said. “It does continue to raise awareness. It’s just a tough deal that it takes a visual for the severity to be known.”

You know who else he left off his list?

As a native Phialdelphian, I cannot disagree with this sentiment.

Smart strategy, and of course the Eagles won. That asshole only beats women.

You know you fucked up when Philadelphia has the moral high ground

Children, I was there in the 60s! Ironed my hair and never left the house without my Yardley frosted white lipstick (I wish that would make a comeback, in its pink and orange striped metal tube). Saw Led Zep in concert, a fact which makes Baby Gothick so jealous.

I have no idea why but that damn clock is cracking my shit up right now.

Whose Left would be more appropriate.

She is wearing so much makeup in that photo it’s a wonder she doesn’t tip over and faceplant from the excess weight.

I can’t remember his whole spiel, because my brain was filled with the enraged screams of my primal warrior ancestors and I was battling to keep a pleasant expression on my face.

I know everyone hates candy corn but i wwwuuuvvvvs it

The finest microwaves.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

It's also amazing how few of these guys have Tindr. Like, you make 23% more than we do, and you can't afford a damn smart phone to shout into the void of people who don't want to talk to you?