Beebs’ attempt at facial hair is ill-considered for a lot of reasons but the most distressing one is that it appears to be blonde-ish? But his eyebrows are black?

Did...did he actually go out of his way to have someone bleach his essentially-nonexistent facial pubes to match his hair?

I don’t

I

This guy looks like the inside of Steve Bannon smells, jesus christ. Yeah okay I kinda get why he’s a republican.

Street View is not kind to this place.

My immediate thought was, When he’s quoted him as saying “thug”, did it come out as “n- I mean uhh a ‘thug’”? Because frankly I’m surprised he made it through an entire interview and that’s the only bowdlerized racial slur that came out of him.

This entire town sounds like their average supermarket conversation is…

So a chode, i.e. a dick wider around than it is long.

...Yeah that’s probably true.

And that’s all the thinking I’m going to be doing about Trump’s penis, and to help me in this task is a nice warm morning cup of fucking Drain-o, so that I can embrace the sweet oblivion of death rather than have to fucking think about…

Makes sense.

I find myself having a mini existential crisis about this at least twice a month.

Don’t ever look up how old some of the folks in bands you like are.

It’s either scary for one reason (“Dave Grohl is how old?”) or another (“The Greta Van Fleek guys are how old?”)

Like I guess you kinda expect it with NFL/NBA guys? You…

Not really in my opinion? Although I do get why you’d look at it like that.

I look at it like this: *YOU* Triumphed, if you made it through that and are okay. Games might’ve helped but they didn’t do the work for that.

These days I think they don’t have to (necessarily) serve as a refuge. They were never really designed…

Oh this is the Nerd Future we all dreamed about but never dared hope existed.

Can you imagine telling the 1996 version of you like...Fuck, dude, like ten goddamn percent of the shit we can just freely take for granted now?

In no particular order:
- Free, endless pornography of terrifying granularity available on-tap at…

Not “Ignores”.
It’s “Was Not Told To Pretend To Care About.”
Because none of his handlers think the job is worth it anymore, so nobody was there to even remind him 9/11 was a thing.

It had yet to be made common by the younger generation. Chances are that dude is younger than you, and it’s just been normal to him his whole life high school included.

I’m pretty okay with this.

Not, to be clear here, Jean’s murder. I mean the dumb-as-fuck attempts to justify this by... *checks* Fox News, shocker there, that a dude with a quarter oz. in his apartment must’ve done something to justify being shot by an off-duty cop.

It shows who the idiots are, because they’re the only…

I...Hm.

This is hilariously dead-on accurate enough that I feel comfortable offering my condolences that you’re in a situation where you’ve clearly had to be around someone who’s super Into Crypto™ for some period of time now.

It is a particularly cruel and confusing circle of hell to have the cubicle across from two of them…

I’ve had co-workers like this; where it goes from iffy to Legit Red Flag in my experience is if they’re a) ex-military and b) *tried* to be in law enforcement but didn’t make it and that’s why they work with you now.

If they also weren’t in the military long, are vague about their discharge situation, and still seem to…

This assumes not only that Trump is able to spell names besides his own without Twitter filling most of it in for him, but also that he can look at the glyphs that form the roman alphabet we use to communicate in written english and perceive them as speech using his own eyeballs, and then manually recreate that in…

Yyyyyyyeaaaah this is just you, I think? No offense but I don’t think the word lore has any particular... Stipulations(?) that indicate it has to mean word of mouth tribal knowledge specifically and not “backstory”. I’ve heard it used more for the latter than the former for pretty much my whole life, and I’m in my…

You really didn’t take that breakup well, huh?

“To be completely hones—”

Black people. “Democrats” is Trumpish for “Blacks”.

This is because Obama was a Democrat, and was also black. Therefore all Democrats are black. Also, he knows if he talks about how black people are scary at the big shows with the lights and the crowds saying his name, they say it louder and sometimes they clap!

He…