If someone would actually take the bet and make the scenario happen, I’d happily plunk down my life savings on “Trump could literally-not-figuratively stand there, make monkey, fart, and explosion noises with his mouth for 45 straight minutes, periodically punctuate it with chants of ‘Lock Her Up!’, and the crowd…

So we have one of two scenarios here, because someone in a children’s daycare who was strong enough to cause that degree of damage fast enough to accomplish that without any kind of intervention arriving in time kinda narrows down the plausible options.

What’s the over/under on Rudy getting shitcanned via twitter in a couple weeks and Trump claiming he barely knew him? I’d say 65:35 for, because Rudy’s good at being a vigorously dicksucking syncophant and Trump’s usual parade of those is in short supply since he’s already fired most of them so he might be able to…

I have an acquaintance of my wife’s who was in Japan for about four years, who had his job threaten something along those lines as well, essentially saying that if he quit and took a position somewhere else (which is apparently exceedingly rare in Japan, even though in this case he was accepting a job at an American…

re: Improving the situation: No, not really. You’re looking at an extremely volatile industry where you can have a game that’s making a billion dollars a month one year and your company is filing for bankruptcy a few years later because you blew all that cash on exorbitant bonuses, a swaggy as fuck office in the Bay…

Edit: Whoops, I just realized you weren’t responding to me! THANKS KINJA etc.

Part of it was Upper Management getting to where they were by virtue of being there the longest instead of having any management skills. In my case, I actually thought the CEO was a nice enough guy from the few times I got to interact with him, but it was pretty clear he was just flying by the seat of his pants, and…

Ha! No, it wasn’t Destiny, or anything even close to that popular. It was an MTX-based mobile game that started life as a Facebook game (‘member those?) and now is neither.

Lord only knows what the hell is going on at Bungie but we haven’t heard of anything that bad going on over there, have we? TBH, the industry in…

I don’t think Trump learns anything, lesson or otherwise. Hell if he wasn’t able to more-or-less say words in the English language on a somewhat reliable basis, I’d doubt that he ever learned his native tongue. Anything resembling a deeper life lesson whizzed miles above his fat empty head and its resident dyed ferret…

I’d be all for this but we all know Trump can’t swim so his response would be to just scream on Twitter for a few days (or however long he’s able to remember it before the next crisis occupies his limited mental space) that he was actually Aquaman and can breathe underwater and is therefore better than Obama.

For those who haven’t yet had the pleasure of seeing what this dude looks like, I present Ty Cobb, a man who looks like Colonel Sanders, sounds like Foghorn Leghorn if the acid never quite wore off, and apparently believes he’s taken seriously by anyone who isn’t surnamed Trump despite all evidence to the contrary:

Hey I got one of these stories!

I was in the industry for several years a while back (admittedly, this was a mobile company in the Bay Area not a big-name publisher).

I can’t (and honestly don’t want to) get into who it was (maybe someone can guess based on the time-of-year I’m giving), but: Workload would fluctuate…

As much as I’d love to be my usual self about this, I think the cold, hyperbole-less reality is even funnier as to why they’re doing this:

Obama got one. They want one too.

The actual nature behind the awarding of the prize is entirely irrelevant. This is all about wanting a trophy ‘cause the other guy got one.

Whether…

It was about his dick. He wanted something in there emphasizing how big his dick was. I think the only way they got him to back down on this was to divert his attention by reminding him of Obama and then hoping the 15 minutes or so of directionless apoplectic rage was enough for that to fall out of his mental RAM and…

This is a fun quote from an earlier article about when Marty was fired under odd circumstances from Bungie.

I mean...It smells bad, yes, but I dunno about cummy? Admittedly my only experience with that stuff has been my own, so uh. I’d hesitate to call it a good smell or anything. It’s definitely a smell. But it’s not the unholy rotting roadkill with an extra helping of bacteria tree sperm smell this thing puts out by a…

So is this enough, or are we gonna get to “Kanye West kills, eats basket of puppies live on Twitter while wearing MAGA hat” before someone finally decides to take this dude to the hospital so he can get the bipolar diagnosis already? Because jesus fucking christ.

Right-Wing (read: racist but trying real hard not to drop the n-word openly but often failing at this) Twitter seems to have it in their collective brain cell that Michelle Wolf is...Black? Half-Black? “Mexican”? Something-something not-white? They’re not real clear on this but it’s not like they need much of a nudge…

Do it, you giant orange pansy. Show us you’re manly and virile and not-impotent enough to drag your bigly-smart brainmeats in front of an FBI investigation who has been gleefully pawing through your personal lawyer’s Book Blackberry of Forbidden Secrets and CCing every State AG’s office on the rolodex for a month now.

I…

This dude is the political equivalent of a Tinder date who won’t take the god damn hint after months of ghosting, isn’t he?

Hey Roy,

We’re not sure how to be more direct about this, but we’ll try again: We’re Not Interested. Period. Full stop. End of message.

Calling us whores, writing poorly-considered/spelled angry…