Can we replace the Yoko tweets with BRA tweets? How has that not happened already?

it looks like she’s holding hands with herself

NBC has a multicolored logo? How sad that all of you noticed that. I wouldn’t know, of course, since I don’t see color. <preens>

you need content to compete in 2015

I once tried to text “Bah humbug” to a friend of mine who was being overly chipper during the holiday season. My phone autocorrected to “Vag humdinger”. And now that is what I say all the time.

Holy fuck, I am seriously dying. That is amazing. I hope whoever did that gets a raise.

Hi, I’m Bev.

My theory was that she cheated on him and got pregnant and he dumped her, thus the sudden and abrupt end to their relationship followed by this revelation. Now she’s making it sound like she was like hey, let’s get on this baby making even if we’re not quite married yet because everyone knows that getting married…

Assuming the kid will ever learn to read is kind of putting the cart before the horse.

Here you go:

I must need a Palin-to-English translator to understand this woman.

Yeah...her birth announcement sure sounded like she was happy to be having another bundle of joy. I’m sure the kid will love reading how excited it's mother was when she found out 😒. I've seen people take a cancer diagnosis with more zeal.

...your father was a cult leader?

Ironically, Twain found love again with Swiss-born Nestlé exec Frédéric Thiébaud, Marie-Anne’s ex-husband.

I feel like people should make a bigger deal about amy poehler being one of the most important figures in recent comedy history. EVERYBODY FUNNY TODAY is a product of UCB. And she (along with the Matts and Ian) started it! That’s a huge f’ing deal.

Those poor Christians! The underrepresented majority. It’s not like six of the nine Supreme Court Justices, 91.8% of Congress, and the President of the United States are all Christian or something!