He has a better beard than me, is in better shape than me, AND he’s a trailblazer. What a jerk.

“Keep that p***y tight while I’m gone.”

I’m half expecting Bruce to be trolling all of us and the reveal will be something totally inconsequential.

Oh its BEYOND just Jez. She shows up here, but she is a pretty well known crazy:

Does Alessandra Ambrosio know what moods actually are?

Critical thinking skills people. Nuts = fat. Fat ≠ unhealthy.

Your mood of the day is like you’re laying across a bed of hot jagged rocks wearing only a sombrero and knee-high sandals?

Solo moviegoing is one of life’s greatest pleasures. FACT.

I went out with Conor Oberst a couple of times. The sex was meh, but I broke it off when he came over to my parents’ house for dinner and pretended like he didn’t know what a potato was. It was obvious to everyone that it was just a shitty joke that he refused to abandon, and my dad eventually kicked him out. I mean,…

Thank you for sharing how you’re too good for casual sex.

For what it’s worth, I heard a similar story about John Mayer doing the same thing to a friend of a friend (I know, a very credible source) after a show he played in Toronto. EXCEPT while he was jerking off up on to her he repeatedly said “Tell me you love my music! Tell me you love my music!” !

Yeast infection?

Um, what is happening here?

I’m usually an SNL defender, but this episode fell flat to me. I don’t think it was Taraji’s fault — she did seem to be giving it her best. It was just kind of lame. Weekend Update wasn't even fun, and I'm the one person who actually likes Jost and Che together. Billy Crystal is where comedy goes to die, IMO.

Look at how deluded she is. The pair have even hosted “hot teacher” parties where the guy was a DJ and she posed for pictures.

Yeah, this is what I thought, too. If you were really on assistance, almost everything would be in a box or a bag or a tin because that stuff is so much cheaper than fresh produce.

She has enough food for 18 tacos including limes for flavor, cilantro for added flavor and a side of rice and beans... How big is her family? Taco night... every night.. I’m totally down with that but pretty sure this is not enough food to feed an entire family for a week.. nope.