where has teriyaki thanksgiving turkey been all my life

...of a plane.

I mean fuck that kid for cheating, but he’s a kid. Kids do dumb shit, maybe don’t sue kids.

Blake Bortles and Blaine Gabbert. Rearrange them any way you like—Bortles Gabbert, Blake Blaine, Blake Gabbert, Bortles Blaine, Gabbert Blake, Blaine Bortles, Gabbert Bortles, Blaine Blake, Bortles Blake, Gabbert Blaine. In the end, it’s still Whogivesafuck? for “same guy”.

I don’t get massages because even when it’s a woman twice my age and I’m only half naked, I still feel violated by the process. I hate being touched by strangers. This just adds so much weight to my “nope” column.

That sounds amazing.

Today has been filled with heart warming news, keep it coming :)

That would be fun.

They need a GoFundMe page for Christmas.

I read that as pushed out by Ivanka and I imaged her shoving him out a window.

*nods*

When “Hotel Rwanda” Rwanda says “Whoa, whoa, Libya, y’all trippin’” you need to re-evaluate your life choices

I like how the line for White liberals now is “well he clearly wanted to do something disgusting to those children/women but we haven’t got confirmation yet!”

I don’t come bearing good news tonight Jezzies.

26-14 or, as it’s known in Alabama, courtin’ ages.

From all I’ve read of her and her poor grasp of words; she’s not mean, she’s dumb.

“Perception is more important than reality. If someone perceives something to be true, it is more important than if it is in fact true. This doesn’t mean you shout be duplicitous or deceitful, but don’t go out of your way to correct a false assumption if it plays to your advantage.”

Stacey Dash is another person who dwells in the sunken place.

Well, Ridley Scott should just bag this project, it sounds like. Thanks for being yet another gross ass, Plummer.

You are correct, assuming one plays by the rules.