Nice selfie with the pint o'booze, hon.

Poor defensive strategy, Jasmine. Men have been waiting for this since Total Recall first came out in 1990.

David Bowie told us this in The Man Who Fell To Earth.

Re: Ariana Grande:

Obviously you're not a golfer.

You don't get to decide what to report on when you sit at the desk. Her bosses fucked up and didn't do their homework; how in the world does that translate to her being fired?

"This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the Alaska."

I am guessing that because it's Alaska so there are probably 3 total people who work at their news station because igloos don't get TV reception yet.

When seeing a black person makes you angry and you can't figure out why, it's time to take a deep look inside yourself.

"The employee has been terminated"

I was a writer for the Playwickian/Editorials Editor 2003-2006. I had my own column called 'Robnett's Rants', which I'm sure I'd be MORTIFIED to read if somebody ever dredged up past copies.

Why not "the Jumping Frogs"?

Sounds like the students are a lot smarter than Mr. Belding.

Hope so. The principal is definitely violating this kid's rights - ONE MONTH SUSPENSION is absolutely unheard of. At my school, you could bring a weapon to school and get in a fight and still only get 5 days because a week is a lot of time out of school.

Yeah, and in that context, his statement ends up as more of a challenge - no naked pictures yet...

In Soviet Russia, Belarus labels slap YOU! With jacked up grey market prices!

But so rich.

Lots of holes in that cheese.

New York sty... I mean, MINSK-Style Cheesecake! Yes, comrade. Straight from the bakery in Minsk. That's the ticket!

My favorite Russian cheese is a nice Tsarmigiano-Romanov blend. Unfortunately, they don't make it any more.