One organizer explained how they pulled it off: “We planned for a long time, and practiced beforehand on mannequins.”

Fetish much, bro?

A Swiss Army knife is truly something that you should always have with you. I prefer the Spartan because I never know when I might need a corkscrew.

Please go on with your insights on “the ghetto” and the monstrous animals who live there.

Southerners will fight at the drop of a hat. All that Scottish/Scots-Irish clan warfare prepared them for the Civil War, which taught them how to use guns on each other afterward. The “culture of honor,” the inability to let a slight a remain unredressed, that is sometimes also observed in the black community is,…

God made dirt, dirt won’t hurt.

A request for comment sent via Lafontaine’s agent mother doctor was not returned by press time.

I... don’t care what the actors want us to believe?

“I made everyone I’ve ever met write a book report of Atlas Shrugged because it’s my personal philosophy. Also, I want to do away with the government, unless it involves your vagina because I’m not a godless nihilist.”

Beetlejuice is just looking for attention. As usual.

I'm a big fan of your work, but a man's drink has at most two ingredients, excluding ice cubes. You might as well be a sorority girl ordering a "sex-on-the-cosmo-spritzer-with-four-cherries-and-an-olive." Stop holding things up, Archduke Badshirt.

I, sadly, pay for HBO and HBONo. I’m in an area where it’s Comcast or nothing. Despite numerous calls, they won’t let me have even ten channels of television— shit I could get for free if I attached an enormous antenna to my roof— without paying for HBO.

HBOGo is terrible. How can streaming sites that illegally host content be so much better? They’re probably run by teenagers in New Zealand for Lorde’s sake! HBONo is going to be down forever when GoT hits.

But will any of the eggs be in “blackface?”

Actually, telling morons who can’t use “you’re” correctly to eat my ass makes me feel really good. Thanks for helping with that.

I’m starting to wish no one had taught the internet the word “blackface.” The whole thing is starting to feel like a two-year-old who’s learned to say “No!” and now says it to any question.

She’s single. You guys should go out for ice cream.

I'll say what everyone, including my big-swinging-dick-self, is thinking:

And now that she’s actively lying for him?

Not to defend the obvious racism of the piece, but how much respect does she deserve? She is, after all, lying for a goddamn purely psycho fucked-up butcher.