Seriously. I'm "huge" BBW fan, but she's missing a "B."

Counterpoint: no

Now, now. We've already apologized for Flo Rida. Further, top white people are working on a conciliatory statement regarding Lil B.

I went to a "white" party. One dude came as the internet. Another came as penicillin. A woman came as Lincoln, which was weak, but whatevs. White people suck and I can't stand any of them.

You should write for porn. You could be the next Martin Tupper!

Five gets you ten that her dad started the fire. Many firemen are arsonists at heart.

And what about the Laplanders? Will no one think of the Laplanders?!?

It's not supposed to be "good." It's supposed to illustrate how corny it is to have every fourth grade class in the state bring a macaroni picture of Sweet Baby Jesus to the capitol for display.

#tiredassshitassshit

I suppose that that's not how you say that keeps it from being said.

I think Lady Gaga's mother should sue Dr. Luke whether he raped anyone or not. Because that's what moms do— go into rehab with you and sue the people you're suing.

That play is so good. And, obviously, the themes of exploitation, years of hurt that can only be directed at an equal, and self-destruction are some shit Madea ought to talk about.

Don't go blaming white America or Hollywood for Tyler Perry. That shit's all coming from Jesus and the black community. Without them, Perry would be staging local productions of "Ma Rainey's Black Bottom" and "A Raisin in the Sun."

You're switching teams over baby names?

Jesus. Is that guy some new subspecies of human? Homo smeagolous? It's rare to see someone's outward appearance match their horrible thoughts so closely.

No one picks on Tilda Swinton for never having lost her forty-eight baby teeth.

Damn. That bracelet gets expensive pretty quickly. Is the Earth running out of stainless steel?

Kim's 'shopped to hell and back greasy ass thanks you for your support.

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find many men who think that women shouldn't have the right to vote. Like racism, misogyny is a bit more subtle these days. But I'll have a shot of whatever you're serving— it's Friday and my brain is itchy.

It's almost tongue-in-cheek. Almost.