'Hiddleston' was such a cop out. It should have at least been 'Tiddles'. Or 'Tit'.

Who's more famous than Brad, I wonder? Uh-oh. Mrs. Zuckerberg better be worried. Or whichever choirboy the Pope is buggering.

Brangelina may be over but we still have Ryan'yongo.

There's no celebrity I won't treat with contumely! Except Jon Lovitz. He gets an eternal pass for his Goodfellas-style beating of Andy Dick.

I don't know but it's a great line!

A lovely cake!

Your new name is Quinoa Tumblerina Weed Ipod

Shake her tits while wearing a hula-hoop of bananas to the wail of a thousand saxaphones?

And yet when I just scoop them up off the street in my van, I get arrested!

What the…? How can the love between an Aztec Deathmask on an Anglepoise Lamp and a Pisshole-Eyed Lummox not be eternal? If these two vapid, shallow and narcissistic cut-outs cannot find happiness together in their onyx-and-chalcedony mansions, what hope is there for us, squeaking fat blobs sliding down the aluminium…

If it's so fascinating, why are you so angry and aggrieved?

Oh you could be right. I'm not exactly presenting this to the Grand Jury as crucial evidence or nuthin'.

"there's a small possibility that you're not the clever one in this thread."

You would.

If that's what you took away from this post, you are an Olympic-class stupid person. Seriously. Probably can't even feed himself, poor fellow.

Maybe you're right. But those older guys who seem to be showing her which end of the camera is the one to look through do appear to be more than usually stone-faced.

Hmmm, but you can't ignore me or else you wouldn't have replied, would you, you angry little turd?

Don Cheadle, a real actor who plays an actual relatable character - rather than an aunt sally - should be given a chance.

Aunt May was such a passive aggressive twat anyway. Pete should have cheated her out of her house somehow and then dumped her on the freeway for the state to take care of years ago.

If Tomei is Aunt May, then we need, as a matter of urgency, to reboot Doc Oc as Jason Alexander.