Then don't read 'The Nine Tailors' by Dorothy L. Sayers

Good news is no news.

Then her time is done.

Is she, hmmm, Alicia Silverstone? No, wait! Is she Amy Sedaris?

They are delicious.

Well, they better make the next one a square. Or a trapezium. '|Hey everyone! That's no moon! It's The Death Rhomboid!'. Yes, I can already hear the gasps of awe in the theaters.

Take it to Pottermore.

Because… Roy Castle. Only if you are British can you understand the horror of that name.

Or SMALLER! Yes, that's the ticket! We'll make it smaller! The size of an iPhone! The kids still love iPhones, right?

Well, I don't lose my temper because someone else refuses to accept Star Wars as the equivalent of the Gospels so I imagine that in a choice between me and you, you would be the one staying home and washing your hair.

"You're not making any sense and being willfully ignorant or obtuse."

Were you masturbating? You were, weren't you? You came in out of the rain to seat at the the back, jerk it and eat Raisinettes! You're a second Fred Willard!

Ha ha!

Never mind that! What about Morrissey just winning the Nobel Prize for Egotism!

Yes, I am looking forward to Beauty & The Beast. It's the film that's going to prove beyond a doubt that the little hatchet-faced shrew can't act for toffee. I might even see it twice!

Death Star 1, Death Star 2, Death Planet in Force Awakens etc etc. Pay attention, idiot! You paid money to see those films!

They arrive…

Great. Who wouldn't want someone walking after them to clean up their shit? Come along then, chop-chop!

"But one with an established history. "

Star Wars is a fairy story. It's not "biopics, historical war movies, movies set in ancient Rome or movies about a famous historical disasters/incidents." If Disney had kept making Cinderella over and over again from different angles, it would have gone out of business.