I started reading that guy’s comment and my eyes rolled so far back into my head I had to use an ice cream scoop to bail them out.

I say that automatically when something goes wrong with the printer at work. No one gets it, but it always fixes the printer.

Black’s Books is really funny - but it’s so dark that I generally don’t recommend it to people without knowing a bit about their sense of humor. It’s hilarious, but it’s such a cynical show, y’know?

The IT Crowd, if you’re good with British humor.

True! But I think the OP’s point was that people well outside of the zone of damage are descending upon gas stations like zombies on brains. Here in Austin every gas station I have seen is out of fuel today, after lines onto the feeders yesterday. No damage was suffered here, people just freaked out after hearing…

You inspired me to google Bismarck. Turns out, Otto Von and the battleship named after him both come up before the city. I mean, it’s correct, but it makes me sad for North Dakota.

Everybody has already told you this, but: you just have to tell her, straightup, that you need to be alone for a little while when you first come back from work. I had to do the same thing with my boyfriend and I explained that I work in a big, open-plan office, I’m on the phone all day, and when I come home I need…

Growing up, I had a friend who’s dad was in the Texas house of reps. He was involved in some kind of company on the side, I forget what kind if I ever knew, but he also had five kids and his wife didn’t work. Looking back, I suspect kickbacks.

Oh my god. That picture. So much conditioner. So much conditioner. I would have soaked her head, then turned her upside down in a vat of conditioner and used a wide-toothed comb. And I still would have gotten impatient and pulled out the scissors after thirty minutes or so.

Pet supplies are not gifts. I’m assuming you live with this guy, in which case the pets are a shared responsibility that you both budget for. He basically went to the grocery store and tried to pass it off as a gift. No! A gift is something that is not needed, but you give to make the receiver happy. Not something you…

I think it’s a good idea? They are making it clear that they won’t allow any obfuscation. He didn’t “come into contact with her posterior”, he grabbed her ass, and it was exactly as crude and gross and sexualized as the phrase itself.

Dallas and Houston are roughly the same size, but as a close, neutral party (Austin), I’ll confirm that Houston definitely has a bit of an inferiority complex regarding Dallas.

Spinach Salad!

I haven’t had facebook since college and it’s honestly the best thing ever (for me). I’ve got about four old friends living far away I regularly exchange texts/emails with - and they actually say interesting stuff. And when other old friends or acquaintances come back into my sphere, it’s a delightful surprise because…

My immediate thought is that a six month old hippo has to be way cuter than a human baby of the same age, but I really don’t do babies.

Nope.

But enough about Lonzo Ball...

In the vein of similar shitty movie experiences: movies at the pool. I’ve guarded for a couple of these, and can testify that no one whatsoever caught more than a line here or there due to basically unsuitable acoustics. That, plus the obnoxious kids having a splash fight, the overbearing lifeguards (me!) yelling at…

Are ya sure?

The Dum Dum Girls’ Only in Dreams is mostly about the lead singer’s mom’s death. It’s pretty upbeat all the way through, so it can be a surprise to really listen to the lyrics: “Death is on the telephone/I lie and say she isn’t home/ If only he would make a move/ Instead he sleeps in her bed” has always got to me as…