Not to be all Lena about it, but if my ex immediately started dating a model, it would fuck with my self-esteem big time.

The constant ending of his tweets with an exclamation point is so fucking annoying. I read it as FAKE. Bullshit. I know this because I recently realized that I do the same on my Instagram most of the time, which is sadly just a way for me to be like I’M DOING GREAT EVERYONE. When really I’m dying inside.

In a now deleted tweet, Trump tweeted about the Marine “Core” and not the Marine Corps. It was deleted and replaced with the corrected spelling, but President Bone Spurs got DRAGGED as a result:

The fact that these russia loving, humanity hating, classless, cultureless, chinless, dickless, spineless, Garland Merrick blocking, scheming, semi-sentient, greedy blobs of shit with horrible HORRIBLE fitting skin suits have the gall to call anyone else in the entirety of Democracy obstructionist fills me with so…

She looks like a CGI construct created by an AI who has access to images but has never actually encountered a human before.

Seriously, even if there has never been any collusion between the Russians and Trump, you’d think they’d put the slightest amount of effort into not making it appear as though Trump speaks with Putin more often than he does with Melania whenever the administration does anything remotely related to Russia.

It must be tough to realize what the role you were born to play is.

“Her husband gets his dick sucked at the Roundup and I know the boys who did it!”

Dallas was so good this year. “They’re just hands...”

This trailer actually gave me hope this season could be interesting. Hell, Dallas turned it around last season.

We approve!

Unpopular opinion? This movie looks nice. I love that it’s not a women competing for a man story line, but one that’s more friendshipy. The nanny’s not a crazy man-stealing bitch, and the wife isn’t trying to win back her cheating husband. She’s just overwhelmed, and has the means to hire someone to help her. Yeah,…

That was the most triggering thing I’ve seen in a movie.

This dude is drunker than Melania was when Barron was conceived.

I am experiencing hope.

Gary fucking Oldman. I didn’t know about this. With this knowledge and his defending Mel Gibson in that 2014 Playboy interview, I have ascertained that he is a shit human. Now True Romance is ruined. Fucker.

I was at the Farmer’s Market with my newborn in a front wrap and the goat cheese guy asked me what I had “there” and I said “a baby” and he said “a baby human?” Only time anyone asked me to qualify “baby.” I live in Austin so I suppose there are people walking around with other baby animals strapped to them?

NGL, I wanted a girl when I got pregnant the first time. (I did not get a girl.) I remember finding out the gender like... one month? two? after the Boston marathon bombing, and in typical hormonal preggo fashion became OBSESSED with the possibility of my kid becoming a terrorist or mass shooter. Fortunately, this has…