Yep. I thoroughly understand that there are people who shop at Walmart because they have no other options (thanks to Walmart killing them all) but I have a choice and that's why I go to Wegmans. I might hit up Whole Foods more often if there were one closer to me, but there isn't. Also, Wegmans is awesome and if…

I have a close friend who's recently decided she wants to make a living as a mommy blogger. I think it's an interesting extension of the huge issue of childcare that America refuses to address: we now have all these college-educated women often stuck between wanting to raise their kids (and not wanting to/can't…

He doesn't really believe this, FYI... this is just all part of a viral marketing campaign for my new gameshow, Win Ben Stein's Dignity

Having children without a family structure.

i would KILL a motherfucker that did that to my lil girl. toss all rational thinking out the window.

If I see one more inspirational quote tacked onto a picture of a sunset I'm going to hang myself.

I think Wegmans has the grinding machine as well.

this is a man who is working to stop me from getting married and paid for commercials that imply I'm a pedophile. That sounds like someone who is out to get me. The work he did isn't just a political dispute, it's a direct attack on me. Why would I tolerate it? It's like saying I should tolerate a punch in the face.

THIS

I thought you wrote "Look at this fucking cat" instead of " Look at this fucking car" and was very disappointed when there was no cat.

He's a lonely king who needs a queen...

I agree wholeheartedly. So maybe he takes these roles because he is interested in them and the process. Does he need the infinity million dollars? You know who was the real Johnny Depp all along? Brad Pitt. All thought the nineties, he supported his troubled-stud-period-dramas like a champ, the golden boy in every…

I had this picture as my screensaver for so long.

Evidence.

It's like Mississippi forgot the rest of this quote:

Technically, couldn't the students then say that passing the candy around with the wrapper on kept the candy from getting dirty. So, by their own standards,

Because your wife doesn't need your help the first couple of days.

Why would I take paternity leave?

behind-the-scenes

I think Kate McKinnon is one of the best players SNL has had in a long time. And she does the absolute best Justin Bieber ever!