Chipotle: Never has something looked more delicious, but end up being so flavorless in reality.

::nodding:: I’m convinced it’s an elaborate case of Munchausen’s or whatever (I’m not a psychologist), but I still can’t at least skim through a story about this whenever I come across it. It’s just...Wow. There is no other word but “nuts”.

Heh heh. I always, always say, “Please believe meee!” int he Dave Chapelle voice, but no one ever knows what the hell I’m talking about despite that comedy special being on Comedy Central ten thousand times a month...

Same here, but there’s no lottery in my state. So I’m just going to have to wait for that sack of money to fall from a plane and hit me on the head...

Viggo Mortensen was also in it! Amplifying the hotness to 11...

Yes, tell us! For some reason, I never, ever saw him as sexually appealing until I saw him in this bad movie where he has an affair with the babysitter. Now whenever he pops up on my TV In his fine, stubbly, middle-aged glory, I’m like, “Damn, where have YOU been?” :)

God, I had plaster walls once. If you can even get a screw to stay in there, you probably already spent two hours too much on shelf installation.

If no one got your joke, you failed miserably.

Even if I were stupid enough to get naked in a public place, the last person I would do that with is my fucking BROTHER.

Hey, if you shove money at someone, you deserve to be able to get naked if you want to! MONEY = NUDE POWER!!!!

I seriously don’t understand why people want to be nude in their touristy photos. Is this shit you actually want to show other people and reminisce about? “Ahh...that time I bared my pale ass at a sacred shrine revered by brown people...What a trip!”

Yup. People who know nothing about Malaysia are the ones thinking this is a case of the punishment not fitting the crime. It’s as morally conservative a country as Saudi Arabia, to be honest. You do this at any sacred site in ALL of Asia, you’re not going to get a slap on the wrist unless you know someone high up to…

I freakin’ love Business Cat.

I actually forwarded to the Accounting manager at my company...but as an alternative to the $5,000 massage chair I had asked about earlier. :)

I wouldn’t mind puppies either, but we all know you can’t open up that cage door without all the puppies running out and all over the place!

I knew about this over a week ago, but I still legit teared up once they started talking about how many cats have been adopted since it started.

Yeah, I only see one visible screw, which means one more behind that drawer. Does not look like two screws is enough for that shelf...

Mmm...Drooling just thinking about nut butters. Gonna have PB&J for dinner!

The best natural peanut butter I ever ate was the kind you grind yourself at Whole Foods. I always got the honey-roasted kind, but now that I have a good food processor/blender, I think I’ll make my own.

One of the local weathermen on TV calls the weather “juicy” and “squishy”.