That dude puts lettuce on a cheese steak, then bitches about any alteration to a grilled cheese, er, fucking grilled cheese. No mental problems there!

And 73.58% of statistics cited in internet comment boards are pulled out of various bodily orifaces.

Oh, man, that reminds me of the time I went backpacking for several day in the Adirondacks when I was about 15. We brought a shitload of Poptarts. I overdosed so badly, I could not LOOK at them for a couple of years.

Hey, serial killers gotta eat too. Cannot do the frosted, that layer of crusty sugar is too much. But I know I am part of a dying breed, cuz some full size grocery stores near me carry NO unfrosted. Downright unmurrikan. Also, I accidentally discovered I have trouble telling the difference between strawberry and…

I have been baked for years. I was gonna make a 420 cake, but I put the numbers in the freezer and forgot about them til just now. Do any of you fucki.g commies

Sorry sunshine but brown sugar is not even a little healthier, its just sugar with a touch of molasses. And if you are serving bacon, butter, and syrup, a dusting of whole wheat flour aint gonna help anything except your guilt. Just give them an apple after they come out of the food coma.

Do you keep the Bisquick next to the Postum and the giant tub of margerine

With ya on the maple syrup for pancakes only thing. Well, french toast, too. The stench of maple bacon cooking will send me right out the door for a McMuffin. And a hash brown. And a medium coffee, cream one sugar. Thanks. You have a nice day too. And all you judgemental foodies can go choke on a bulgar wheat muffin.…

Are they authentic, responsibly harvested locusts? Cuz, you know, ya gotta stand up to Big Locust at some point.

This is about the time the food douches show up. Here is a guide:

As entertaining as this article is, it is improved by about 500% if you read the email while listening to Dueling Banjos in the background.

Ikept reading these stories with bemusement. The one about the Texas delegation trying to lure them away was especially funny. As someone who has done lots of air quality work in industrial settings, I knew a simple retrofit of their exhaust systems would make this all go away. Probably not very expensive either.…

This brings to mind that T shirt you can buy from The Onion:

You will totally lose your shit if you watch him make french toast. Its a TWO DAY process. By the time he gets around to actually cooking it, mine is already on its way to the wastewater treatment plant. I really like Alton, but ya know sometimes a grilled cheese is just a grilled cheese.

did you take the T to Kenmore or did you get dropped off?

and the fat dude in re says oh shit at almost the same time. NO WAY BRO!

five second rule in effect...you can still eat it.

Seriously, why are you here? It would be like me going on a sex and the city chatboard and ranting about old horseface,even though I don't watch the show. I'm a biker, and I hate bikers that love to pump their own tires with self importance.

Ha! My wife was asked by a cop to dump out the cooler she was carrying. She complied, then the prick said "thats littering, pick em up." Told him to fuck off, ten seconds later she is in cuffs. Prick would not even tell me the adress where they were taking her (this was way before Gps). The judge was PISSED at the…

Two minutes for high nightsticking.