One of my friends had a destination wedding. Her parents came along, and somehow in the worst of luck with the hotel block, their room shared a wall with her room. She didn't have sex on her wedding night, but she heard her parents did.

Ani l'dodi v'dodi li. For our first anniversary. He's at work, so I can't show you, but he has a lightning bolt where my star is. Jewish strangers looooove to read me.

Feminist Ryan Gosling disapproves.

See? Sometimes less knowledge is better.

I love this! Late one night I caught my mom-this was many years ago-playing Wolfenstein and screaming, "FUCK YOU, NAZI BASTARDS! I'M COMING FOR ALL OF YOU!" I burst out laughing, and she was all, "What? I like video games. Now you know!" Best moment of my young adult life.

My family all knows this trick. When I got married, they refused to put in their names on the reply card because they thought it was funny to make me look it up. And then when they would call me, they would leave me messages, "Hey, It's number 47! Can't wait until your wedding." Of course, they would argue about who…

Pretty genius move!

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

Ah! I somehow missed the original post, but I had AWESOME shoes!! Pretty please ungray me?

No Question. Just required by law to post this

Pfft, CSI covered that two weeks ago. They're also the ones who introduced me to furries and adult babies.

Because of Dave's story, I now know what the "H" stands for in Jesus' name. Thanks Dave!

My best friend is a 5'3" tiny woman, and she runs all the time. Once she was alone and a dude on his bike smacked her ass. So she shoved him off his bike and yelled, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WEARING A HELMET, ASSHOLE!!!" and then ran off.

And the original.

Another bar tending story:

Everybody peeps?