Jeff Ireland still wants to know if his mother is a whore.

Punter (while running back to recover the ball): “Unbelievable! You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Makes sense, e-mail is bad for his bottom line.

Figures; dude loves screwing around with stuff about 13-17 years old.

More like recoveringAstrosplayer

+189 electoral votes

No problem! Vin Scully must be shared with all.

So, he starts out by saying what a great guy Yogi Berra was, and how it wasn’t unusual at all for Yogi to discreetly pay the dealer for everybody’s cocaine and never take credit for it.

“Don Mattingly played with him, knew him so very, very well. Don normally wears a windbreaker, but he is not wearing a windbreaker tonight. He is proud to wear number 8, that was Yogi’s number when Don played with him in New York, it was the one number he wanted, and as Mattingly says, every day I put that number on,…

Someone tried to give Donald Trump a thesaurus, he said “I’m too busy for dinosaurs” and threw it away.

He definitely meant to get in the keeper’s way, though I doubt he had any idea how successful he’d be.

Yes

“Nobody eats there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

Public sector Wisconsin worker here. You’re not allowed to hate him more than I am.

You guys should really be more thorough in your editing. Their is no such thing as an easy pick for Chris Conte.

If Brees is out for an extended period of time, I know one QB on the free agent market who many already believe to be a Saint.

As a 49ers fan, I’d rather they just ban 49ers games.

if football fans are good at anything, it’s finding creative ways to stay as shitfaced as possible while turning the stadium into a hell on Earth.

Well, he’s white...

I assume Kelly will be looking to claim him off waivers.

Oh man, this gem just happened: