Hey I just met you

Possibly the most offensive article that Jezebel has ever published.

I mean there’s really nothing there at all:

Then someone made this goddamned masterpeice with it:

“How dare you! I’m beautiful!”

I spit out my wine when what’s his name was breaking into the dean’s office, cut the perfect circle in the glass, and then as he reached for the doorknob the whole window shattered. The comedic timing in this show is really excellent!

Usually I would agree, but this post is so beyond the pale, so offensive in its effort to infuriate, so hateful in its dismissal of all basic human dignity, so disrespectful of all the laws of God and man and physics and romance, that it can only be regarded with scorn and fury and pitchforks and getting really,…

Esp when it’s Jia, bc she’ll wade into the comments and get unhinged on people. It’s a delight.

I also hate summer, and spring, and winter, in addition to fall.

Really, who wrote this article, Satan?

I sincerely love it when you guys publish articles that exist for the sole purpose of making people irrationally OUTRAGED.

No joke, summer is the worst season. I loathe being hot. All I ever want is to need to wear a heavy coat. Also, I think some people really are just genuinely drawn to melancholy. The darkening days are romantic to some of us.

You are the wrongest anyone has ever been wrong about anything in the history of wrongness. Repent.

True story: once I was moving large bags of dog food for my grandma (who had tons of dogs) and when I dropped one it went “oof” and inside was my 14 year old cousin.

You’re telling me that ladies are having abortions - a not fun medical procedure - just to benefit mankind through medical research? Fuck, we are a generous lot, aren't we?

What’s Blindspot, you ask?

The Scott Walker saga is sort of fascinating.

My brother is a lot younger and for the most part wouldn’t bat an eye when our parents would go out and I would babysit but every now and then he’d be all worked up over...whatever the fuck toddlers get worked up over? Like, no you can’t just light yourself on fire but here’s some crackers so stop crying. My stepmom,…

I have to say, littlestpony can be super bossy and kind of a know it all at times. She tells me how to drive my car. It’s annoying. Once I got so annoyed with her ‘ugh, mommy you got lost AGAIN!’ and ‘MOMMY YOU CAN GO NOW’ when the light was red (I was making a left turn) that I totally snapped at her and asked if she…

This is my favorite thing about kids that age, when they are explaining something to us dumbass adults. If only we could grasp the serious nature of these situations. It’s so fun to keep coming up with dumb questions just to watch them get more and more frustrated.