I don’t think it’s all that big a deal that I broke into his house, tackled his wife, and then kept screaming at him to eat my peach. It’s like, calm down, Armie.

Seagal is this cultural thing that will forever baffle me. He was obviously a shit actor, but all of his action scenes looked stiff and lifeless, so what exactly was his appeal?

Dipshit.

With nothing, you dipshit.

It’s a movie called Street Fighter and I don’t recall a single good fight scene.

I mean, my dad was just watching Executive Decision, a movie in which Steven Seagal (fucking Steven Seagal) stars alongside Kurt Russell, John Leguizamo, and Halle Berry.

The 80's/90's elevated trashy action stars to the A-list.

Basically at the start of season two, when the characters in the show and the producers outside of it were like, “Umm, it’s time for Caity to be leading.”

Yes! That’s where I remember it. The behind-the-scenes stuff is way more interesting than the actual movie.

Isn’t this old news?

Kindly go fuck yourself.

... K.

Who needs Batman?

Hopefully this means Arrow is entering its final season.

“A Closer Look” has been vital for me.

Go blow it out your ass.

Or, alternately... abolish ICE

Both Jurassic Park and Jaws are examples of lousy books adapted into masterpieces by taking the premise and turning it into a wild adventure.

It does annoy me that he’s basically Namor in these movies.

And the Quicksilver we got in Age of Ultron is way closer (and better, IMHO) than the Flash knockoff everyone loves in the X-Men movies.

She’s a functioning alcoholic.

If you’re OK with horror movies, Sophia Lillis is exceptional in last year’s IT. In fact, all the child actors are solid.