I don’t know, is using Carmelo on defense ever a smart move?

Man, these Mexicans are showing up everywhere.  Now they’re taking jobs away from hardworking black gangbang workers.

Imagine how excited Melo was to check his google alerts this morning and see he’s being mentioned along with these two!

Wesley Willis is headbutting his grave...

“Uh, yeah, let me talk to Jerry and Bob about that,” appears to be a common refrain for Goodell:

“Oh sure, he can call them savages, but when I do it...”

It’s fine and the people who complain about it are much more annoying than the thing itself.

Are you people blind??

Fuck Nick Saban.

He was let go because he’s the only guy in Iowa with a personality

In the words of Mean Gene Okerlund, “Longfellow couldn’t have said it better.”

free agency = bad, free labor = good

And all the reporters there will tweet about the irony. And never have the balls to say it to his face. 

Jimmy Fallon is a hack that nearly ruined every good SNL skit that he was inexplicably included in.  He is insufferable and every night I say a silent prayer for every teacher who had to put up with his spastic crap when he was a kid

Pete Alonso: [glances into camera, tries to wipe smirk off face] Also, I think the Mets have the look of a real contender this year.

The PGA is a sporting concern whose most prestigious tournament takes place at a club that had no black members until 1990

I’ll mark you down for a 2 on that one.

Erik Kramer... Rodney Peete... Scott Mitchell... Dave Krieg in his age 36 season... all started playoff games. Barry Sanders dragged every last one of those dudes to the playoffs.

My first live sports memory is the 1988 Holiday Bowl. I was seven. I didn’t know who Barry Sanders was, and, in fact, waited halfway through the second quarter before I asked my dad “who is the orange man?” He went for 5 TDs and 222 yards on 29 attempts. It’s like his fifth best game that year. He really was this cool…

The real stories here are that Woody Harrelson (a) wore a suit to (b) watch a doubles tennis match while (c) on ecstacy.