I like to think that some wonderful benevolent force of the Universe decided that the world just needed to see Scarlett Johansson’s naughty selfshots. Amen.

The Wrightovich Brothers need to spend a bit more time in R&D.

Well played.

Nothing is more thrilling than secret Apple docs! Except perhaps, when those docs are from a retail location and probably only reveal thrilling secrets about what color t-shirts the Geniuses will wear next year and how to best sell a bumper case for an iPhone 4.

I was always a fan of:"It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy."

Am I the only one who assumed this was a joke? Einsteinian dogma... That's not a real thing, let alone a real thing people criticize is it?

We're gonna need a bigger body-scanner.

Why are we concerned over an artificial tongue when this poor woman's left arm has been terribly (and remarkably cleanly) severed?!

Buy a laptop. Seriously.

I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would want to use a mouse with my tablet. That is pretty much the complete opposite of what tablets are built to do. And an external hard drive? Woo. Great. Look at me attached to the hard drive attached to the wall - tablets are awesome!

I like to think of restaurants as being nonprofit organizations whose mission is to bring me delicious food I would not otherwise be cooking at home.

Step Three: Profit

Because only one kind of science is the right kind of science.

If his first shared update was not "First!", he missed out on a serious opportunity for trolling immortality.

It truly was - I'm not afraid to admit I literally jumped in my chair when I saw this.