You have never hung out with a baseball player.

Unrelated: Darren Sharper just signed to the Dallas Cowboys.

Lawyers are bummed they won’t get their massive class action settlement so they are looking for someone else to profit from.

Once in a mostly empty theater waiting for a movie to start, I felt an ill wind brewing. So when the lights went down, in that moment of silence before the film started, I lifted a cheek and let loose a mighty blast - loud, long, and even a little modulated so it went higher at the end. It was timed perfectly.…

If the parents are conservative - I get the baby girl a monster truck and the baby boy a barbie, just to fuck with them.

I used to enjoy going to this race in it’s early years, in the days of both Andretti’s, Fittipaldi, Unser and Tracy. I don’t go anymore cause A) I can’t associate with any of the drivers, and B) they took the best seating area away down by Turn 1.

She works down at Wintergreen Zebra on the weekends. She told me she’s only dancing to put herself through law school and to help pay for her mom’s colitis treatment. She says that I’m different than all the other clients. As soon as I can scrape together the cash for a Maserati, we’re going to run off and start a…

This case might well mark the first time Deadspin sides with golfers *and* MRA.

I drive an ‘82 Rx-7, and the pedals are close enough to each other and at the right places so that I don’t have to heel or toe, I do a weird side foot thing. I put probably 2/5ths of my foot on the brake, which is enough to brake as hard as I want to, then I just roll the right side of my foot down to blip the…

Hard to convert those that remember the Scoupe and the Pony.

Typical hotshot corner who thinks he doesn’t need a safety.

..

that close

Wayne Gretzky is in fact alive today.

It’s pretty easy to pack on 25 lbs in a couple of months. Hamburgers, fried chicken, orange soda.

This is why pets should be banned from airplanes. Service animals aside, your pooch doesn't trump my right to breathe.

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”

Grasping for straws, anyone that listens to his podcast regularly knows Joe Rogan is not a racist.

vanilla offense

This made my eyes hurt and now I am dizzy