He only called Mayock a cracker after he was fined. That was a big part of Farris’s point.

I keep thinking of Timothy Treadwell, I cant bear it. 

That Grandpa email of the week was fucking fantastic.

Hey all. Just wanted to drop in here and give a very sincere thank you to everyone who’s read the piece and everyone who’s commented below. I had to kind of talk myself into writing this, for a number of reasons, but I’m glad I did, and I’m deeply moved by the responses here—by those of you sharing your own…

In case anyone did not get the reference to a 28 year old SNL skit:

Yes, it’s Mike Mayock! The football sensation that’s sweeping the nation! Only $14.95 at participating stores! Get one today!

fail within a few years

Passing on Prairie Home Companion is just a marker of good taste.

If the franchise tag is tied to position, maybe rookie contract length should be too.

Dude said he will be attending a game in Florida. Whether it is the Marlins or Rays, he can leave the glove at home.  The odds are he won’t ever catch a ball on the fly, and when it lands, he can walk past the dozens of empty seats and pick the ball up with his bare hand.

Or with buffalo wings, so you can act like you're offsetting the damage of 8 dozen deep fried honey glazed wings

Michael Jackson tried the same thing though, so you’ve gotta give his marketing team credit.

Paul’s letter to the Corinthians: “Guys, we gotta move more merch.”

They made the movie Rudy about his life.

I feel like that whole “No depictions of him ever or woe unto you” thing probably hurts Muhammad in the fame department vs. Jesus who, say what you will, knew how to brand.

Surely there’s a spot on the practice squad for this guy, right? He slept on the damn grass! At least let him play the opposing teams fastest WR on the scout team!

Inside ear hairs are my nemesis.  Can never seem to get a good grip on one to pull it out but once I know I have one sticking out it drives me crazy.

“And Suzy died so bravely, filming the very tsunami that took her from us”

AND I DON’T LIKE KIDS TODAY PLAYING THAT HIPPITY HOP MUSIC. HURTS MY EARS.