Counterpoint: worst condiment ever.

Oh fuuuuuck offffffffff.

WANT PUPPY.

Dammit, I thought I’d scrolled down far enough before posting.

I thought “JAG” was a hit with old people in red states? It ran on CBS ffs.

Counterpoint: Paris Hilton showed up in an acting class I was in, just before “The Simple Life” happened. She was, at the very least, commited to continuing her act whilst in class.

I saw the same thing on a detergent label the other day. “Gluten free!” Well thank goodness, now I can use this as a shooter just like I’ve always wanted.

That’s the general gist of it, yeah.

No judgement. From where I’m sitting you look damn fancy, too.

That ad is making me want to stab myself in the face with a fork.

I have a friend who was a producer on True Tori who says otherwise. (Sadly I can spill nothing. She signed NDAs & I won’t risk it.)

I enjoy doing the same thing to the anti-gluten people. I was at a park recently & the dude at the kettle corn stand was yelling about it being “gluten-free!” I yelled back, “Wait - you’re saying CORN doesn’t have WHEAT in it? Get out!”

I did! I feel fancy.

Fair enough. And full disclosure: I’m a former model, too. We’re weirdly snobby about being compared to pageant people ;)

Splitting hairs: she’s a former model, not a beauty pageant girl.

Also, welcome back to LA! Everything is on fire now.

You generally don’t get residuals for appearing as yourself. And no reality show I know of is union, anyway, so again: no residuals.

As a Jess, I support this statement. Listen to ME!

Or keeps firing them as a delaying tactic. “Sorry, your honor, but my new legal team needs another 3 years to get up to speed on the details of this case. Cancel the deposition.”

My dad just showed me pictures from a recent cruise he took around the Caribbean. In one photo he casually mentioned “this isn’t our boat, but it was parked next to ours.” It was the Freewinds. He had no idea what I meant when I started yelling “OMG it’s the Scientology boat!!”