Immediate solution: tape a phone with GPS to the puck and use Google Maps to determine where it is. This plan is without flaw.

An employer asking its employees to adhere to uniform standards is absolutely a crime against humanity. Enforcing it against a labor force of young minorities is institutional racism to the very core. And the NFL is the only place this is allowed to happen!

That’s a libelous overexaggeration. Sure, some animals might have died, but running the neighborhood pets through tackling drills and two-a-days isn’t technically torture.

Yeah, Belichick lives rent-free inside Adam Gase's head, but Adam Gase's head is a soggy cardboard box under a train trestle.

Belichick is an asshole but it's stuff like this that makes him a MAGNIFICENT asshole. 

On top of it all it was Carrie Fisher’s birthday today.

That C-3PO line...I’m not ready for it

I agree - she was a good ad, given the sacrifice of her sister. 

The Sounders name is over 45 years old, predating MLS by over 2 decades. By far the Gold Medal for MLS naming has to go to the Kansas City Wiz.

I enjoyed the article, but I still don’t agree with the premise of your second paragraph. Single-elimination playoffs make the regular season matter a ton more, and they are a huge benefit to the team that gets to host. The old format, which punished the better team with a much more brutal travel schedule and put…

Or, imagine a truly despised team goes 16-0 in the regular season, blitzes through the playoffs, and then is upset by a(n admittedly loathsome if not by half) “underdog” led by a man-child with permanent derp face in some sort of culminating event.

Tráfico pt 2 is gonna be wild. I’m stoked for the Zlatan/Vela beef to graduate to full on hamburger.

Reheat your pizza in a cast iron skillet or fry pan.  Crispy crust and melty top.

Ditto. I fucking hate using the microwave, even for leftovers. I will reheat in a pan, or even—for fancy leftovers like Thanksgiving—steam it.

1) Plenty of small apartments don’t have microwaves, and plenty of apartments don’t come with microwaves to begin with

I’m an adult I should be able to call him Bob (or Dickhead) if I want. Do you agree?

Best minimum wage job?

I’m getting in early on the action for once