What can I say? This is the first thing I thought of :)

Jared Goff looked like he was just woken up by a stewardess on an airplane.

Yep, pretty much how we make them in the cafe I work in. Bake a sac of potatoes, refrigerate, chop, cook.

I’m impressed that Russel Wilson is being this aggressive early since history shows that he’s usually super-late to score.

In a similar vein, my wife’s grandmother bought her a lifetime subscription to National Geographic when she was 9. I think it was something like $1000 in 1986 money to do so, but that badboy shows up like clockwork every month. It’s awesome.

My father has been a subscriber for 52 years. I’m willing to bet he’s one of the Top 100 most tenured subscribers. It was a Bar Mitzvah gift, and to this day he has no clue who got it for him. The only thing he knows is that they filled out the application choosing the prefix “Master” rathern than “Mr.” My Dad never…

+1 subtle change to the Kansas City Royal’s piping.

Also losing half of its staff: middle school boys who’ll no longer get the swimsuit issue.

This is how I was taught to make crispy potatoes, too — cast iron skillet and leave them the hell alone. And it works really well for most folks.  But I truly and sincerely suck at leaving things alone, so this is a welcome tip.

I’ve... never had a problem with non-crispy home fries? I generally go smaller than a half inch, though - more like 1/4, then assault the pan with salt, pepper, and butter, then cook till crispy.

I finally got into a fight in college with a dude who kept referring to me as a spic.

Sorry if I made you cringe and/or wince. I sometimes forget that I am a little immune to shock and awe. Remind me not to tell you about the Prince Albert piercing that got tangled in an anal piercing. 

This was the first time in a really long time I was sad to see the season end, and right now at 5:42 on a warm Tuesday night, it’s sinking in that there won’t be baseball played in Queens for 6 long months. The last decade or so of Mets baseball has been a mixed bag of emotions. They had the completely unexpected run…

good god, as a member of the intact club ... that made me wince. 

Words to live by right there.

The only time I have been called Hoss was by an Irish bartender in NYC.  I asked why he called me that and he said he could tell I was a Texan by the way I walked, it also felt pretty awesome.

Jesus fuck I was not prepared. I thought I was.. but I was not.

Yeah, do not put your dick in an industrial vacuum. I am an emergency room nurse in Toronto who, after 12 years, has seen all manner of manhood mutilation. Twice (TWICE!!) I have treated guys who had decided that big ol’ machines were the correct venues to procure orgasm. One of them got off (heh) with bruising and…

The question is missing “chief”, but I usually just say “sir” (or “ser” if you have no pages).

I will die upon the Hill of Dude. I am a man who came of age in the 80's when Dudes were Dudes and Bro’s had not yet harshed our Dudeness. A Dude is a man of relaxed character and mellow disposition, The Dude was called so for a reason.