God is too busy influencing the end of sporting events to worry about this tow truck driver and/or Syria.

I guess I should keep trying - I’m only through 2 episodes.

I don’t know - I loved Season 1 but Season 2 doesn’t seem as great. The people seem way more awful (like the dog getting killed and they are happy) and way less funny. Also, the writing seems like it is getting lazy -for example - the pooping during childbirth joke somebody else mentioned.

Where else might the Red Sox great land?

Brofesious II: The undertaking

in your endo!

This so much.

Our protest signs would be unbelievable.

But I’ve been killing it with this bit for like 15 years - so yeah, they probably stole it from me...

Every time (literally every time) I eat a fortune cookie and read the fortune, I pretend it says, “Help I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory.” My wife and kids think I’m stupid and annoying, but they can’t fool me, I know they think it is just as hilarious as think I it is. Deep down. I’m sure of it. They think I’m…

.

Any chance they are benching him to make sure he isn’t injured before they trade him? Please be yes!

I have a hard time believing the contract says the kid could be there 100% of the time, even on road trips. If the contract did say that, well I guess then this is crazier than I thought.

You are taxed on your sales - they assume an 8% tip. The employer has to keep track of all your sales and reports this to the IRS. So if you wait on someone who doesn’t tip, the IRS still acts like they tipped you 8%.

Also, because I am automatically taxed on tips even if I don’t get them, I just payed to wait on you! Can’t wait to see you at church!

I’ve gotten those more than once. Strangely by making my day worse they did not enticed to explore their religion.

Call me crazy but my rule of thumb is to not be altered by alcohol or marijuana when I’m with my kids. Just in case you know, a person totally relying on me needed help of some kind.

I’m waiting for the companion piece titled: “I have to be slightly drunk to deal with life.”

I’m waiting for the companion piece titled: “I have to be slightly drunk to deal with life.”

So I got that going for me, which is nice.