Dearest Russell,

"Dirty uniforms, meanwhile, like all the girdles filled with blood and feces because some hits are savage enough to overpower the central nervous system, I'd put in a special bin for disposal."

Isn't involuntarily shitting your pants a symptom of pretty significant head trauma associated with concussion-like symptoms? I read an article about how this is a thing football players taking huge hits to their head do (maybe even on deadspin itself). So while we can laugh at him for shitting himself, this may…

Yeah, we're missing the horror movie hallway...

Isn't there only one real response to any Republican who complains about President Obama's golf habits?

Sorry, Baldwins, we're at capacity.

Animals destined for food have three main certifications: "regular" USDA, organic, and Humane Raised and Handled/Slaughtered (which may or may not be organic as well). While animals belonging to the last two categories have a much better time, animals that are regular USDa livestock and poultry have pretty shitty…

this picture looks like he is the leader of the cult

That's why you keep babies on simmer to lock in the freshness.

He will always be the junkie in The Basketball Diaries to me.

That's one reason I have never found him attractive (besides my general preference for dark hair and eyes). Every time I see him, I just see him drooling and snotty and with food/dirt all over his face.

Getting old rocks! I am almost 44 and the more years I gots the less shits I gives. FREEDOM!! My va-jay-jay pushed a human being out of it and I had a little accident that affected my outer hoo-ha (long story, won't give you nightmares) so I have two scars that clutter up my bits and yet I have never had a man stop…

First y'all complain about "manspreading" and then you're mad when we give you a whole cabin to yourselves! Make up your minds!

Perhaps the airlines could be more proactive in suggesting such solutions in the interests of, you know, serving their customers. Heaven forbid they PROVIDE them!

it's such a journey. you can see the blame shift in her eye movements: first the dude, then her, then the dude again, then the game, then the universe

Did you just skip over the things he said about black people, or ignore them outright?

This was some years ago. My friend's father got through that awful winter and lived to see a few more years, but he is gone now. It would have made a world of difference to her, just knowing someone was looking out for her in a strange city very far away from home. You are a kind and generous person and deserve all…

I got to work Christmas Eve, Christmas, and New Year's Eve. The joys of working as a nurse in a hospital.