Is the answer “shit-faced”? Because that’s the only way I can imagine watching.

someone should have informed Mr. and Mrs. Cake of their reproductive options.

That’s funny but Boston is awesome (spring-fall anyway)

Sebastian Vollmer and Marcus Cannon went to bat for their coach today, but unfortunately were unable to prevent DeGuglielmo from being sacked.

I’ve been trying to write a Bigfoot feature for like six years I swear to God.

Ali G already exposed this conspiracy in his groundbreaking interview with C. Everett Koop.

I’m not sure if I actually believe it, but man, I really want Bigfoot to be real. I think it would be amazing.

Calm down there, Satan.

Is Cris Carter alleging that Chandler Jones rode in a car with Wayne Brady?

But if I don’t take the lump sum I cant do stupid things with the money.

Just fyi, Deadspin’s official editorial policy is that the Chargers holding an option on moving to LA is the same as them having done so; they can eat shit until they decline the option, and for that matter if they do they can eat shit for having lorded it over their fans in the meantime.

The person at far left deserves to drown for recording in portrait mode.

Are you kidding me.

More than any athlete, I hate this guy on the ice and absolutely love him off it. He’s such a dick; diving, slew footing, slashing, commiting dirty plays and then whining to the refs as if it could possibly be his fault.

Presto’s 4 Lyfe (RIP Presto’s)

Is Pino’s not still around and on the same damn block? It’s not the best pizza on Earth, but 2-3x a week for 4 years, and I never once got E.coli.

I wonder how many players in 2035 will be named Barkevious.

It also means that nearly half of the players who believed they were suffering symptoms and submitted to the study were linemen. Patterns in self-selection can be suggestive when they’re part of a broader system.