But what if he is.

Praise be to Jesus for making the bad juice stop flowing into my sin mouth. I will make hits for Christ until the October crown blooms on New York’s golden head.

+1 pink hat

GOOOOOOOOOOOOO fuck yourself.

Oh horseshit.

The history of that man and his administration are a complete embarrassment to our country.

The NFL is doing a spectacular job of making me give less and less of a shit about it. (I should note that I’m a Bills fan, so I’ve been consistently conditioned not to give a shit over the last two decades.)

Xanax always makes me buy crazy shit, not alcohol.

“This is a picture of my wife taking a load off.”

He also has two different people’s hands. Is this the Highlights “How many differences can you spot” feature?

Right here haters....right here. The Champs are Here!!!

I’m ready for this hate parade, Deadspin. I’ve got my Andre Tippett jersey on, I’m drunk, and I’m not wearing any underwear. But if I were, you can be DAMN SURE that they’d be emblazoned with a Pat Patriot logo.

One of the biggest threats comes from the expansion of oil and gas drilling, including fracking, in places like the Los Padres National Forest.

“Filming from an unapproved location” has quite a different tone then implying that the filming itself was illegal. It’s 66 in a 65 zone instead of mass murder. And you well know it.

I am Scott - 3rd reader letter down the list.

I have laced these citruses with acid mushrooms. Your bat will become your mother. The ball will become a 95mph disembodied tongue and we, the mighty Cubs, will ride surfboards made of light into the True Truth that lies at the center of the Universe. We will also miss the playoffs, but we won’t know it because we are…

“Napping? That guy didn’t look Puerto Rican.”

Can you imagine the nuclear-level shitfit some conservatives would have if a liberal clerk refused to issue someone a gun licence because they didn’t like firearms? They’d be furious, and you know, rightly so. People have a right to expect public officials to follow the law, even if they don’t agree with it. If you…

Yeah, being on the receiving end of $75 million you never had to pay back must have been really crappy.