Are you kidding me.

More than any athlete, I hate this guy on the ice and absolutely love him off it. He’s such a dick; diving, slew footing, slashing, commiting dirty plays and then whining to the refs as if it could possibly be his fault.

Presto’s 4 Lyfe (RIP Presto’s)

Is Pino’s not still around and on the same damn block? It’s not the best pizza on Earth, but 2-3x a week for 4 years, and I never once got E.coli.

I wonder how many players in 2035 will be named Barkevious.

Christ, Harvard really is insufferable in every imaginable way.

But a deregulated environment leads to greater economic opportunity and-

If this all feels too quick, too easy, too tidy, that’s because it is.

Sink your essence so deeply into your chosen profession that your chosen life partner becomes a distant smudge of color on the horizon. Wave to it sometimes. Mention it sometimes. Allow it to make noises at you, but do not allow it to stop you from becoming Emperor of Job, Titan of Industry, Leader of People.

Rex Ryan: Oh we can give marriage advice at these things? Well—

Come on, we all know his nickname is Krapsnaps Bazingas.

Next question.

Serves these people right for going to a god damn godsmack show in the first place.

Nine fans. I just saw Jeff in a Cowboys hat.

What kind of parents would let their teen daughter anywhere near Tyler Seguin?

Nooo! Not my $11!

It also means that nearly half of the players who believed they were suffering symptoms and submitted to the study were linemen. Patterns in self-selection can be suggestive when they’re part of a broader system.