All I can tell you definitively is that it’s over 9000.

Cannot WAIT to wait to see their Dragonball Z couple cosplay at San Diego Comicon this year.

He’s, like, 12% of a good-looking guy.

He’s a geologist! Rocks burn differently!

THE POOL HAS A RAIN SHOWER TOO?!?!

Hahaha! Mine is the Darkest Timeline version of that story - My Dad helped me open an account tied to his name at roughly the same age. It’s where all of my college savings went (birthday money from relatives, paper route money, the proceeds from my library job in high school, etc.). When I was applying to…

I hear he’s impersonating an EPA official these days. Hilarious, right?

Pfffft. I’ve heard you don’t even have a doctorate in glitterbombing.

... Well? You can’t leave us hanging like that, man!

Pound that sand long enough and hard enough, and you might get sedimentary rock!

Scott O’Dell - Island of the Blue Dolphins.

Jesus. I hate that woman so, so much. Like, what kind of gratification does she even get out of spewing this horrid nonsense day after day after day?

Don’t worry - He’s white.

In a perhaps even more apt comparison, it’s also the motto of 1980's cartoon villain Megatron, whose box had “Peace Through Tyranny” printed right on it.

Sesame Street has gotten way grittier than when I was a kid.

Do you WANT Jar-Jars? Because this is how you get Jar-Jars.

Oh, darn! I seem to have dropped this here... LADIES.

Vocabulary fun fact! That horrible, cringing embarrassment you’re feeling for and about the folks in that video right now? The German word for that is “fremdschämen”. 

Oh, fuck. Now my masturbation’s gonna be even weirder.