Honestly, I think this one actually makes a little more sense than most - the bit this story leaves out is that Faraday Bicycles specifically makes electric motor assist bicycles (from what I understand, they’re fairly successful in that market, and while e-bikes aren’t my thing, Faraday’s are gorgeous). I can see…

Pfffft. Like that guy’s ever performed (or spelled) cunnilingus.

Gator wrestling.

“Camelback bottle” implies using your hands to drink, like a chump. Fuck THAT noise. BEHOLD THE M.U.L.E.

Next time, Gadget. Next time.

DESIRE.

Mightier, Trebek.

This guy gets it. Take THAT, people who aren’t financially savvy!

DON’T CAAAAAARE.

Thank you. This is the difference between “a busload of orphans and kittens fell into a ravine” and “an empty bus capable of carrying orphans and kittens fell into a ravine.”

I am now so old, and the world is so weird, that i cannot tell if that horrifying thing was parody or not.

And from the upcoming Spring collection...

This is the correct answer. Traded my ‘08 back in September for a ‘12 with a few more toys. I’m a little sad that by the time i need a third, examples with low miles will be bitch to find

“No, no, no, sweetie... It’s not that Daddy forgot and doesn’t love you. It’s that we wanted to surround you with the soft sensuality of the place. Now sit back and enjoy the poetic cadence of Showbiz Pizza Bear.”

Hey, hey, hey... Check yourself. Sometimes we send D-Money, Smoothie, and Shiftie to impregnate Maine’s white girls. #NotAllNutmegers

“Guilty... or... innocent?”

I love this so, so much.

I fully expect that upon completion of the first Presidential Motorcade oil changes, you’ll be rewarding us with with your new blog series, “Will It Barron.”

Tila Tequila, who is internationally recognized as the arbiter of such things, already did that for us.