Great news, guys. Got a call from my good friend the Sun. Thanks to my hard work, it says it will rise again tomorrow.

You think this is bad? This is nothing. Just wait until some zealot tries to “save the Republic” with a Second Amendment remedy and Dear Leader’s supporters retaliate against whatever ethnic/social/minority/gender group that person hails from. THAT’S when the whole Jenga tower falls into the garbage fire. The thought…

His Mom insisted on him being seen this way to demonstrate how evil the world can be. Think she was triggered by it?

Oh, Jesus... And on Saturday mornings, they’ll have the adopt-a-pet segment, wherein viewers will be goaded into grabbing abandoned pussies.

Stop trying to make vape happen. It’s not going to happen.

I think we can all agree there's now a seventh post Univision should take down.

I saw one of these do that to a lizard on a barbed wire fence once. Fucking surreal watching a pretty little songbird do something that violent.

Agreed. Get this guy a fucking Pulitzer. No, get him ALL the fucking Pulitzers.

Two weeks too late for anyone to read it, but it was driving me bonkers trying to remember where his chest armor is from... It's heavily influenced by the snowtrooper armor from The Empire Strikes Back. And now that it’s written down somewhere, i feel better.

My wife and I thought Westeros got a delegation this year.

You may have killed my wife with this one. Fountains of laughter-tears. When we met, she had a PT Cruiser. I had a first-gen Scion TC. We had many excellent reasons for these cars that were not, “I enjoy warm garbage and leprosy.” Hers was “it’s the only thing that doesn’t murder the cocyx I broke when I fell down the…

That's so phenomenally obscure, you get a star on general principle.

Do it. Naysayers be damned, it's a hugely entertaining little car. I've got an '08, and as a daily hauler with a solid dose of fun, it's hard to beat. Steering's not as sharp as a GTI, but it's far comfier, stands out more on the road, and has a surprising amount of punch. My wife hates driving it because she's…

I had two of these badass little things (an '87 XT and an '88 XT-6 after the tranny in the first one fell apart) - hugely entertaining, with the most hilariously retro-future-eighties cockpit. The reason they're largely ignored today is because the damn cars came pre-rusted for your convenience.