Does the Law of Headlines apply here?

And then you can be in a Noom commercial.

You couldn’t find a picture of a guy in the US for a story about the US?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

There used to be a guy in the office across from the hall from me whose wife worked at a different company and across the hall from her was a guy with the exact same name as me.  And I don’t have a very common name either. It was bizarre.

Is your consistent usage of the plural (“ellipses”) as a singular meant to be some sort of snarky irony?

So I got an Instant Pot Air Fryer lid for Xmas. And so far I’m.....underwhelmed. Most of the stuff is dry and tasteless and a pale imitation of stuff that’s really fried. Am I expecting too much or am I doing something wrong?

Somebody needs to take a flamethrower to the headline.

This is the first article of hers you’ve read, eh?

Ah, another “Whew, Global Warming is Somebody Else’s Job to Fix” story.

The most common source of mercury in the cremation process is dental fillings in deceased Baby Boomers, a generation that was given mercury-laced dental work before alternatives were developed.

Great! Because, as we all know, on Jan. 23 they’re all going to have a glorious enlightenment, realize they were all idiots, and desist with all the fuckery, right?

Double untaxation....love it!

Any apps that realistically simulate drinking yourself into a stupor?

^^^^^^^^^^

I’m drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels every night now.

Right. Stick to messy toys like slime, Silly String(TM), or glue-and-glitter.

No mayo?

Well he’s obviously read Snow Crash.