I fixed your title for you:

Okay, soot from a candle then.  But it’s not as permanent and hence not as fun.

75% or just stick to a salad.

It is. And stop calling me Shirley.

Once when I was walking with my daughter when she was still little, I pointed at Sirius and said “see that star, it’s known as the Dog Star.” She answered me “Serious?” and I said “Wow, I’m impressed, how did you know its real name?”

Maybe they adopted a literal “scorched earth” policy in response to Trump’s actions.

Putting printer toner on the end and then convincing someone to put it up to their eye like a telescope is always fun.

My last step is to dribble the olive oil in while the food processor is running.

Agreed, that little hitch where it displays the Shortcuts screen before opening the app is quite annoying.

Something I just figured out: you can stack widgets on top of each other, and then scroll through the widgets that are stacked on each other.

Why would Apple care about porn-themed icons? You can already do that with your background or lock screen, and (um, so I’ve heard) browsers on iPhones will bring up pornhub dot com just fine.

They can use some of the money they’ve made selling coal to Japan and other Asian countries to pay for it!

Space: 1999 for the win.

OMFG. Can’t wait until the next time I make hummus.

TL;DR - Not much.

Guy on the jar looks like he just ate 10 of them.

Oh yeah.

In its current state, driving autonomy is nothing but the greatest driver distraction device ever invented.

Oh, Boeing. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

Here is a list of all the foods that are not unexpectedly improved by a little hot sauce: