Yeah, and there is of course no shit anywhere near that meat he's eating when they butcher it. Because they give the cows a colon cleanse right before.

There is a rule about having your buddy's back in a fight. You are required to jump in, UNLESS at some point in the last 24 hours, you said to yourself "What this guy needs is a good ass kicking."

You might want to familiarize yourself with the law. If there is not enough room for a car to safely pass a cyclist on a narrow road (i.e. pass while giving 3 feet of clearance) the cyclist can & should take the lane. By taking the lane you realize that you can only pass by moving into the left lane i.e. oncoming…

I have admittedly only looked at a few stories, but it is kinda weird how no one is talking about this person or if anyone is looking for him, etc. If this were the US, we'd have composite sketches, grainy security footage, and experts blaming rap music an hour after the race.

I'm from the Northside of Chicago, where there's punctuation.

Skip the 18th hole!

Groom's drunken stepfather is offended that bride's sister is breastfeeding her baby in the reception hall. "Get that shit out of here!" he shouts at her. Breastfeeding mom's husband and groom's stepfather scuffle briefly and, with the help of other men, force stepdad outside. He is seen hours later, passed out in…

Confusing list. I expected him to use bullets.

"Murder multiple people" was on the list, but checked off, as it had been completed.

Not pictured: blood.

Ok, that "blood" looks way more like ketchup to me, but I'm no Olivia Benson. Blood generally dries less bright and gooey looking than that.

Dried blood/bloodstains aren't red, though...?

The hubby was a lot of help with the faint wave of protection. "I tried my best Mabel, but I had to use my away hand to protect my phone"

"... and that's why you never use Tinder at a public sporting event." - J. Walter Weatherman

Oblivious Fan: [Looks at her friend's Team Stream app]

In fairness to Lemon, when they told him he was going to interview a Grand Wizard, he thought they meant John Wall.

Witnesses said that he occasionally implored his players to "get horny for the puck"

"Get horny for the puck" is a landmark in bad coaching