A guy in a convertable lambo on Tremonte street in downtown Boston tried forcing his car through some pedestrians at a ped crossing.

Hey.

My first day in Boston a guy called me an asshole and asked if I wanted to fight.

You mixed the chevy, chivette with the website TheChive’s girl of the day and made entering it akin to passing through a wd40 lubricated orifice that had monthly kinks like an Alpha Romero, but those issues could subside for 9 months until it suddenly and unexpectedly expelled the engine from itself.

I got a quarter the way through and was like, damn Jalop want some aloe for the burn? I think ill keep reading after lunch, but i’ll add.

Valet parking where I am is often used to coerce you into buying things or used on an entire parking lot to make the lot private to reduce loitering.

When my pregnant coworker’s husband told me they both found Jesus and he cured them of their meth addiction, moses lived to be over 300 because we lived longer back then, the earth is only 10000 years old and vaccines are poison. He was late for work at the [high end mall near me] as a Valet for one of their exclusive…

“LOOK ME IN THE EYES WHILE YOU EAT ME” - that chicken.

Damnit it is lunch time here and im stuck in a FUBAR program writen in the 1980s.

If you go to pho restaurants and order pho dac biet on the regular you’ll probably be okay.

Because Gawker media is in holy shit melt down mode probably.

For me the two words are

Man, it is 2016 and it is still cool to call people bastards, who actually were born in wed lock and grew up with a father.

Im a cross between Adam ruins everything and a calculator.

I hate valet parking.

I hope this article makes you guys good money, so you can keep the lights on.
No, but seriously, fucking tell it like it is especially during the whole “oh god the ceo is filing bankruptcy” situation going on.

People come to you guys because they trust you and if you find stuff is shit fkn say it.

I bought a focus ST…

Did Doug really leave?

This seems really straight forward she just fuck all cannot speak straight, probably to try and keep the extra nutty lefters.

I already bought one Ford this year!! What more do they want?!

Were rainbow parties where you and your friends took prescription medication from relatives,met up, then took a grab out of the bag and tried watching beavis and butthead?