Except in DC politics, the Russian superstars actually win.

Thanks, yah weiner.

It’s the Stanley Cup Final, not Finals. Idiots.

Still my all-time favorite Deadspin comment

This should really boost his Yards after Catch numbers.

Irony is losing to Minutemen on a last-second-that-lasts-five-seconds shot.

Pass the douchie on the glove-hand side

The Caps seem to think they get points for putting the puck into the crease, not the net. And extra points for hitting Penguins defensemen in the ankles and letting the puck rebound out of the zone.

As a heads up, when your team acts like goons, it is a lot easier to draw penalties (even if they aren’t real). Maybe just play better hockey.

Travel into the the comments section any STL news site that posted this story. Get a load of the the dumb mouth breathing rubes who now “don’t feel safe” going to Cardinals games or wish they could pack heat inside a stadium.

I would have guessed they expel the brown folks during cardinals home games.

What the fuck white people.

Well, you know what they say - “If you can’t beat ‘em, cross-check their best player in the face.”

I look forward to the Red Sox reacting to this in a very level-headed way.

Yeah, that all seems really convenient. Now if he shows back up on the ice in the second period, the Capitals might be REALLY screwed. Hope he’s fine, and the Caps lose anyways. Just as a massive screw you for being the Caps.

Guess we know why Caps dressed 7 D.

Of course Ovechkin slashes him to set it up

“I hope that it’s not serious and Crosby is able to return. I remember when Eddie Shore ended Ace Bailey’s career with a hit to the head. It was a awful thing to see and has stayed stayed with me through my whole career.”