Go in saying “I think I want an abortion.” Let them go through their whole deceiptful speil, nodding along at appropriate moments. Leave saying “Well you’ve definitely changed my mind about wanting an abortion. Now I want THREE abortions!” Cackle madly on your way out the door.

Nope. They’ll give you a dick, and then punch you it it. And then take it back, just to be mean.

Ugh. It’s bad enough that people actually eat frostees by themselves.

Seconded. I would love a kitchenette about “Restaurant customers who are clearly not actually human.”

Fun fact: You can replace “Saint’s Row” in that statement with “real life,” and it still holds true.

It’s pretty solid tempered glass, similar to a pyrex baking dish, which are reasonably difficult to break already. It’s also not millimeter-thick lightbulb glass, or even centimeter-think heavy window glass. It’s probably a solid lump of glass, probably 3 or 4 cm thick any way you slice it, so it’s incredibly durable.…

Honestly, everyone should be worried about Mel Gibson. I mean, can you honestly tell me that when you’re lying in bed, on the edge of sleep, you don’t still feel the shadow of that quintessential childhood fear that Mel Gibson might be hiding in your closet? I mean, you’re an adult now, able to comfort yourself to…

To be honest, I thought you were going to say something about how offering people a choice between dessicated spam nuggets and roast grasshopper is probably a pretty effective way to get people to reexamine their distaste for eating insects.

Came here to say the same thing. Both this article and the ‘two questions’ article it references are all about how to unambiguously tell if a lady doesn’t want to talk to you. Following these rules requires no interpretation, no social skills whatsoever, no guessing or picking up subtle hints. They are meant as…

When the current host dies, the hair will seek out a new body to invade.

That reminds me of a fun anecdote I heard a while back:

I’d sure as hell vote for a toupee’d cobra. Escaped cobra for president!

Can it involve this?

I know, right? Hasn’t anyone ever told that bitch “puff puff pass?” or “the proletariat must rise up and take back the means of production, so long held unfairly by the greedy and self-centered ruling class?”

Exactly. Millions of people have exist somewhere on the autism spectrum. Men and women, children and adults. Some have trouble functioning in society without help, some function just fine on their own. Many of them consider their autism not to be a disease, or even a disorder, but simply a different way of thinking…

I don’t know about that. I’m pretty sure the ‘worst hair’ competition has always been a pretty important deciding factor among republican presidential candidates. This election season it seems to be more important than ever, and the candidates are really going all out to see who can come up with the stupidest…

Nah, there’s a few psychopaths in the mix, but most of them are victims of con-men, trying to sell them on “Invest in my highly effective pick-up system, and get laid hourly by sexy vaginas. Buy the book! Buy the DVD!” and/or regular, lonely people trying it out of a sense of misguided desperation because it looks…

Sounds like it’s the same old “Am I really an adult now?” struggle, but with the added bonus of sexist gender roles.

Even if they are honestly pretty attractive, these types of dude tend to think “oh, she’s in the same social group as me, and has the same nerdy-as-fuck interests as me. That makes her undesirable.” for some miserable reason. Probably because if they were with someone who actually shares their interests, they would…

It’s like that quote “Oh, your boss is a jerk and you had a really hard day at work? There’s a support group for that! It’s called ‘everyone,’ and it meets at the bar every night.”