My parents never used that particular turn of phrase, but I specifically remember as a child, hearing adults use stupid, cutesy little euphimisms like that for things that kids shouldn’t hear about, and finding it terribly patronizing, to the point where I would lose respect for any adult who said shit like that.…

Nah, college students have beer parties. Adults have parties where they have beer and cake, at the same time. Being an adult is the best.

I don’t see it so much as “expecting a woman to emotionally fix things.” It’s much more likely that it’s “things simply and absolutely can’t be fixed, but divorce isn’t a good option for us (probably because children.)“ If that’s the case, the best options you have are: Have an affair- in which case you’re having an…

Here’s a life lesson I learned the hard way:

Oh my god, they’re the worst. Grizzly bears (like the kind you find in yellowstone) will fucking kill you if they feel like it. They are not fluffy, weird-looking dogs, nor are they (relatively) calm and peaceful little black bears. Grizzly bears are mean. Moose will fucking kill you whether they feel like it or not,…

That’s a great thought, but I’d prefer the cats to be perfectly happy while peeing in these people’s shoes. Gleeful, even. And then act all sweet and cuddly in the morning until the shitstains put their shoes on, and save time for one insufferably smug look, before running off and dissappearing for the rest of the…

“They don’t understand how it makes women feel.”

Douchetankers are an environmental hazard. On occasion, they’re known to crash or overturn, spilling thousands of barrels of crude douche, which has a devestating effect on the local wildlife, and can take years to clean up.

That’s a high-end subclass of doucherocket, I believe.

Also related to the douchefountain, which also dispenses douche, but in a massive, spectacular display that can be almost beautiful at times.

I’d appreciate it if we, as a society, could create and enforce a rule where anyone who ever speaks or writes the phrase “various forms of grinding” is unqualified to be responsable for children, especially of high school age? Seriously, no matter what else is going on, as soon as your eyes land on that little turn of…

Keep defending their rights to do whatever they want with their tits. Don’t hate topless women in times square. There’s no valid reason to hate ‘them,’ there’s a good reason to hate one of them. One single asshole, among all the desnudas making their living showing off thier ladybits in times square- she’s a single…

Why we need any sort of analysis of the word “fuckboy” anyway is well beyond me. Who needs a whole thinkpeice in order to understand it? Hell, who even needs the UrbanDictionary entry? The meaning of the word is so very, very clear from both the word itself (you know, a portmanteu of two common english words with…

You think lesbian shit asses and pit-dwelling snakes have different ideas about interior decoration? What are you, some kinda weirdo?

Controversy equals profit for this kind of event. I’m sure they didn’t screen audience members for how shitty they were and only allow in the worst, but I’d be willing to bet that the entire event, end to end, was designed to encourage awful shitheels to attend. I haven’t read any of the advertising, but “for…

That doesn’t count, becuase anger is only an emotion when women do it. When a Man is angry, it’s not an emotion, it’s an expression of his primal man-power. When women do it, it’s a sobby, bitchy, emotion.

Because YOGA NERD IS AN AWFUL PERSON WHO STARTS EACH DAY BY MAKING HORRIBLE, MEAN FACES AT SEVERAL BABIES UNTIL THEY CRY.

Is it “Students who have opposite-gender friendships are likely to get lower grades,” or is it “students who get higher grades are less likely to have opposite-gender friendships (because they’re HUGE NERDS)?” Did the study try to answer that question? Is it possible to figure out what’s the cause and what’s the…

The Swedish do take their sandwiches pretty damn seriously...

I’m not sure I buy that. I think they’re fairly shrewd businesspeople who are well aware of what they’re doing. I mean, imagine if the whole family (or at least Michelle and Jimbob) were faking all of it, and trying to milk the controversy for every dollar it’s worth, knowing that every TV appearance is a paid one,…