any amount of mayo = too much.

Starred because yes, it’s exactly like that. And it’s exactly that mind-blowingly stupid. What are people thinking when they do this shit? That the warning saying “1/6 of this cookie is one dose” is meant for everyone other than them? As far as I’m concerned, pot didn’t kill this kid. Stupidity did.

Oooh! And then, once they’ve all gotten comfortable with their special no-whore-pills insurance for a couple of years, we START PROVIDING BIRTH CONTROL TOO!

actually, it only takes a couple of tablespoons if you apply it correctly.

You also forgot the only human candidate remotely worth voting for:

Off topic, but the idea of Durex sponsoring high schools just is soooo, so delightful to me. Were there any durex logos on like, sports scoreboards or anything? WAS THERE A LITTLE DUREX LOGO IN THE CORNER OF YOUR DIPLOMA? GOD I HOPE SO.

I prefer to think it’s part of the white house fight club. They meet in one of the basement conference rooms every Thursday night. Everyone is welcome! Interns, the leaders of our country, the janatorial staff, lobbyists, and select members of the media, all beating the shit out of each other.

My wife was given a ‘husband voodoo doll.’ It’s a little, vaguely man-shaped, blue doll, with a dozen pins sticking in it, and has little sayings like “take the trash out,” “rub my feet,” “bring me flowers” and other such god-awful drivel printed all over it. Supposedly, you’re supposed to stab pins in whatever task…

Off topic, but are you some sort of programmer by chance? It’s uncommon to find somebody who writes their equality statements correctly around here.

Clearly a very polite and considerate bear, who ate all of the boring pies, and saved the fancy pies for me. The world needs more bears like this!

At this point, TLC might be better off realizing that they screwed up beyond repair, and folding.

Well that’s probably true- they never intended to be insensitive or insulting to women. Because the word “intent” implies some level of thought.

It is running Linux. Like all Android phones, seeing as android runs on a (modified) Linux kernel. Incidentally, the kernel version that most Android devices use (3.4) is codenamed “Saber-Toothed Squirrel,” because Linux kernel codenames are absolutely delightful.

Honestly, CPS should be investigating every single one of these douchefucks. “I don’t like the government mandating that I feed my kids. My child my choice! There’s real, scientific evidence that every single autistic child has been exposed to food prior to diagnosis, and there’s a big-food conspiracy to cover it up!…

I can’t help but wonder if this nut pusposely escaped in an excessively over-the-top way. He seems like the type to care a little too much about his reputation.

It’s becoming more and more clear that the best way to ‘fix’ the draft is to do away with it entirely. It’ll be a long time coming when they finally do.

They really add a lot to the overall product.

To be fair, if you yell “pull your damn pants up” at black kids, and you also yell “shave your stupid moustache and quit wearing those awful fucking shorts” at white hipsters, you’re still kind of a jerk, and probably a little racist.

If I did all my unit converting correctly (*and with the assumption that throbbing gay dick and summer sausage are similar in density, which they’re probably not,) this here 6 oz summer sausage is just a little bit under 200 cubic centimeters in volume (source- this online food calculator.) So really, it’s a pretty…

Most likely he doesn’t view his numerous victims as being actual human beings. Inside the mind of Bill Cosby, all the other people in the world aren’t thinking, feeling, rational, sentinent beings with the capacity to feel joy or pain. They’re set peices. They’re props for him to interact with. At best, they’re logic…