Well you see, the real problem is people telling their kids something like “Gay people exist, and that’s okay. It’s a valid way to live, and there’s nothing at all wrong with it” before the brainwashing has really, permanently set in. I mean, how are you going to properly fuck up your children for life if you’ve got…

On the plus side for the kid he was calling gay, “Well, your mom is gay” makes a damn good comeback when it’s true.

Top 100 reasons why Pancheros (midwestern-ish regional chain, I guess) is SO MUCH BETTER than Chipoltle, and why Chipoltle is going to fall flat on it’s corporate face trying to become a thing in my area:

Yup. “Ripped from the headlines” is a thing specifically because truth is stranger than even the very strangest of fiction.

New conspiracy theory:

Right? I was really wondering how that’s relevent at all- I mean, ongoing abuse is worse than a single incident, but that sure as fuck doesn’t make a single incident okay. If your best defense is “your honor, I swear I only choke-slammed her against a wall the one time,” you don’t really have a defense.

I don’t think I could actually do that myself, but I would absolutely LOVE to see it happen to some obnoxiously loud ass.

agreed, but mexican coke > regular coke > regular pepsi > diet pepsi > coke zero > [fucking offbrand RC or some shit] > diet coke.

interestingly enough, that’s pretty much exactly what I’d do too, if the mysterious god-like figure controlling my every action stopped telling me when to go use the bathroom or eat food.

NO ABORTIONS FOR ANYONE EVER except my 16-year-old daughter, but really it was only that one time, and it’s not like she’s a evil communist birth control-guzzling whore like all those other people who get abortions. BUT NO ABORTIONS FOR ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE ABORTION IS ALWAYS WRONG except for when it’s somehow in my…

Try pulling out a pad and sticking it to him. Right to his face. Or sit there and silently pull a tampon out of your purse, unwrap it, and stick it in his drink, staring intently the entire time.

Well to be fair, when there’s a vote for a increased sales tax (or whatever) for the school budget in my area, it’s generally so that the school can build their third brand new football stadium in ten years (and yes that’s an actual thing that actually happened,) not so they can pay the teachers better, buy new books,…

Well that would make sense if the goal of the public school system was to actually educate kids. But the goal of the public school system is to keep kids out of the way, and teach them to conform and follow the rules whether they make sense or not.

“Was he hoping to go “viral” or something?”

Exactly. I’d be willing to bet that he was well aware that she would be teased and bullied horribly for this. The extra bullying that would come with the forcible haircut and public humiliation was almost certainly intended to be ‘part of the punishment.’

I feel like it’s a pretty solid rule of thumb that if your feminist thinking loops so far back around that you’re joining the very worst sort of loony conservative Christians in shitting on an oppressed group of people, then you’re feministing wrong.

Apparently when my dad was younger, he got kicked out of a taco bell after drunkenly shouting that very phrase at several of their other patrons. My mom frequently brings this up to embarrass him.

Blue balls is a thing. It’s a sensation I’d describe as “mild, dull aching,” and it usually lasts around 10-20 minutes. It’s generally easy enough to ignore if you can distract yourself by doing and/or thinking about something else, but sorta unpleasant if you’re just lying there doing nothing and being bored.

Normal leg-wear (ie, jeans, sweatpants, yoga pants, whatever) is pants. Fancy leg-wear (what you wear on your lower bits when you’re dressed up nice) is slacks. Either can be referred to as ‘trousers’, but only if you’re an asshole.

It actually falls under “promoting education and learning.” As in “learn your place, you lazy shits.”