There’s not a single picture, anywhere in this article, of a “big inflatable anthropomorphized dictionary,” and I am supremely disappointed.

Another poster somewhere said they were translated into English, which would also explain it.

corn on the cob IS #1, but only if you’re in the right part of the country. There are some areas that just don’t have good fresh corn (like either coast, or really anywhere that’s not the midwest.) People who are stuck living in these inferior places are to be pitied.

This is so true. Or made with only a little bit of mayo, but the dressing is mostly non-mayo ingredients.

Correction: We do some sexual activity in private in this country, depending on how exactly you define sexual activity.

Nope! No amount of death will make law enforcement do their job. Somebody has to die before law enforcement starts pretending to do their job. Until then, they’ll sit around with thumbs up their asses acting like it’s not happening.

That’s my thought too. The right manager for a 13-year-old who does a couple of local concerts and releases an album consisting mostly of covers of other people’s songs, and the right manager for an 18-year-old chart-topping global pop star, are probably not the same person.

For the last few years, nearly every time I’ve gone to buy girl scout cookies (usually at the little table they set up outside the grocery store on a weekend) there’s some parent there with one of those cell phone-plugin credit card readers. They’ve gotten too clever and sneaky!

To be fair, I’m pretty sure girl scouts goes up to age 18. So they could be talking about 16-year-olds, not 12.

#equalrightsforassholes

I’m sure there’s still a few out there, but I believe they’re outnumbered several hundred to one by dudes who wear cowboy hats and boots, but work in an office and have never wrangled a single cow in their entire lives. Posers, if you prefer that term.

Maybe this is just me, but the phrase “affirmative action urban lesbians” makes me picture a motorcycle gang of angry, threatening lesbians (probably with buzz cuts and barbed wire tattoos) roaming around some mildly futuristic and over-the-top grimdark city, enacting affirmative action by means of egregious violence…

It sounds like something you would see as a bitter, angry complaint in a comment section somewhere in the more ‘adult-oriented’ corners of some fanfiction site, but maybe that’s just me.

I don’t know, but I have a sneaky suspicion that this dude’s strategy involves money, political power, the total lack of any coherent moral code, and unthinkable amounts of sleaze.

Maybe this is just my high school, but when I went to prom, by about halfway through the night, several dozen of the doucheier boys had taken off their jackets and shirts, and wore only their unbuttoned vests. I wonder if this shitty-ass high school would allow that?

This article seems... reluctant to think of a restaurant owner as the bad guy here. I mean, viewing restaurant staff as ‘poor, aggrieved souls who don’t deserve any of the shit they regularly put up with’ makes perfect sense, and I totally agree. Viewing customers as ‘mostly assholes of an unthinkably awful and…

It’s trolling, but it’s ‘trolling for a higher purpose.’ As in, using the framework of trolling (because it’s clear from their words and actions that, though their primary purpose isn’t to fuck with pushy Christian legislators, that they’re doing it in the way that most pisses off said assholes) to advance a noble…

Note here: Even without sensory problems caused by Aspergers or something similar, it’s worth remembering:

Good on your family for not trying to make you eat pumpkin pie after that. There’s an interesting thing that happens with humans: If you eat a particular food, and then you feel sick afterwards, even if the food item and the sick feeling are completely unrelated, you may end up with a deep, instinctual revulsion for…

Ugh. I bet they were boiled (or steamed) brussels sprouts. Which is an absolute travesty, and a terrible insult to a delicious (when properly cooked) vegetable. There are very few vegetables that are still good after being boiled, steamed, or microwaved until they’re mush. Even the small handful of vegetables that are…