Here's a joke:

I had a nemesis once! Granted I was about 10 years old, and had a habit of taking myself way too seriously.

Nope. Nobody outside of the Northeastern US has heard of New Haven, and even most of them don't really care.

I find it much more palatable if it involves a skimpy 'french maid' outfit.

I would probably willingly do extra chores in trade for orange-flavored sugar water, to be totally honest.

I'm aware that there are relationships that actually work this way- both parties expect that women should be frigid and manipulative, and use sex as a carrot-on-a-stick, and both parties expect men to be lazy, stupid slobs who can't take care of themselves like adults without a woman to 'direct' them. It saddens me…

Personally, I'm interpreting this as evidence that will.i.am is your mom.

"Well yeah, I suppose he's black, but he's not.... you know... one of those black people."

"Today we received news that some decent soul with a camera phone has quickly destroyed a legacy of shamelessly overt racism and cruelty that thousands of our past students built, while we stood by and watched it happen".

Don't you know? Not all douchebaggyfratbros!

Unless it's that once-in-a-blue-moon Italian legal case where it turns into THOSE TWO WERE ATTEMPTING TO PERFORM A SATANIC SEX RITUAL MURDER LETS ABUSE THEM AND VIOLATE EVERY RIGHT THEY HAVE.

I'm honestly just disgusted that someone would let there kid crawl around on the floor at a restaurant. That floor is probably disgusting- even if the staff sweeps/mops/vacuums it every night- god only knows how many people have eaten at that table before you, and what horrifying substances they've spilled and/or…

This. I don't know the actual demographics, but off the top of my head, I'd guess that 80% or more of the Jewish people in the US live on the east coast. I met a grand total of two Jews before I went to college (still in the Midwest, but at a school that recruits students from all over.) I ended up making friends…

"Anyways, a few bites of funnel cake is still worth it, but more than that makes me want to throw up and then sit down for a while."

Counter-counterpoint:

I did actually run across this one a while ago- the basically said that "All cancers are acidic in nature, therefore you can cure them by drinking baking soda mixed with water." It went on to explain in great pseudoscientific detail the exact ratios and amounts for different types of cancer. It also explained how…

Yup! They're the true heroes of this story.

Yes. Fire every teacher and every staff member. Take away whatever teaching licenses they have. Blacklist every last one of them out of the education industry permanently, and throw most or all of them in jail. Any adult at this school who wasn't an active participant was at the very least complicit in covering it…

Because THIS IS ONLY THE START! THE FEMINAZI CANCER THAT'S KILLING THE INTERNET IS OUT TO DESTROY IMGUR AND 4CHAN AND [whateverthefuck]-CHAN AND EVERYTHING THAT'S GOOD AND RIGHT AND TRUE IN THIS DARK, CONFUSING WORLD!!!!1!!