Why is he still in Ohio?

Wait till you hear her music.

Yeah but it was pointless! All I could think was, “Look how hard these mutants are fighting for the right to get pantsed by the Cavs.”

Since when does Old Dirty Bastard play for the Giants?!

Best Fascists In Baseball

Cardinal fans don’t want the accussed actions of a few to represent all of them. “Most of us are classy enough to call him the n-word in the privacy of our home around only friends and family.”

He said at least! That’d put them out of the playoffs. Anything more is just another slice of cheese on the burger. Not that I’d mind a burger with 50 slices of cheese. My heart might mind but fuck that guy.

I was there and it was beautiful. Seeing the Best Fans in Baseball hurrying back out to their St. Louis County hamlets in the top of the ninth is something you can never experience enough.

Any and God damnit I mean any—grown man that brings a glove to a game needs to be dragged out on the field and whipped with Pablo Sandoval’s belt.

He gave them to kids but he’s a grown man wearing a glove at a baseball game. I thought that was a mortal sin?

Saw a bunch of fans eating Skyline at the Reds game yesterday

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

I’m calling Bullshit. There’s no fucking chance somebody is signing up to have sex with Kirstie Allie.

Counterpoint: You do realize that Giannis was all of 18 years old at the start of his rookie season, and at least two inches shorter than he is now at 21. And that this kind of shift in physique screams ‘skinny teenage kid becomes a man.’

Do people really have nothing to do in Spain besides pay money to go to a 12-year old’s soccer game? There’s so many people there. And people say I am weird for following Division II athletics. At least they are adults.

And how the goalie has already mastered the art of berating his defenders.

First you get the Miller, then you get the Pabst, then you get the Weyerbache.

Wait, are you implying that he couldn’t understand me when I yelled “SWING YOU MARVELOUS FUCK, SWING” at him in Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS? Well that explains a lot.

I have never considered making a slow motion, sepia toned video of me crossing over a fat kid before. Now I know that my life is incomplete without one.

Lesson learned: If you are going to hit a big leaguer’s car, be an attractive blonde lesbian...